Mystic Contemplation

Kiwi's Success

2007-11-12T04:00:00.000+02:00

Kiwi is a master thesis animation by Dony Permedio of school of arts and is considered the most popular animation on the internet. It's viewed on Youtube 12,890,583 times, favorited 110,022 times and the winner of the first annual video awards under "Most Adorable" category. it's simple in everything, Idea, animation, no marvelous texture. but if there wasn't something special about it, it wouldn’t become that popular, there should be a key for its success. See it on Press and an interview with Dony

I actually came across it through an adv in my Messenger banner, and as I'm interested in animation & cartoon, I looked out for it.

It's a bit sad, cute & innocent! … about a flightless bird ( to know about the real Kiwi bird here ) who dreamt to soar so he built an illusionary spacious for himself on the cliff, as he used to image it in his mind every time he chased his dream … everyone could receive the message from the movie differently.. But for a cute, simple cartoon I don’t think it should be analyzed and complicated further; rather it should be taken as it's, to remain simple, which is the key point that attracted me & I think attracted most of the viewers. I also think there will be a second part of the movie.

One question remains in my mind since I saw the adv on my MSN banner; a 3 min bird's dream leads to an unexpected dream, is the way to fame and success that easy?

What I think of; Don’t bog down, you just desperately need a new approach to use your ideas as a stepping stone

Asceticism

2007-11-01T05:12:00.000+02:00

What I wish for is a safe life! That simple …

My feelings can run away with me, and at times even run my life. Sometimes it can be so close to the surface that my rational mind doesn’t stand a chance … then … I become my emotions and feel out of control. Sorrow or pain that turned to anger … someone told me you will feel sad then your feelings will turn to anger, at then I said anger of what? There is no point in that; gradually I realized that it's true!

Troubles, problems, obstacles explode like a volcano; and your feelings are always your own, none will ever feel it or know it the way you do, no matter how close that person is to you, It's your own chemistry and rules that act as a catalysis for the unique chemical reactions inside you. They are Unique in a way that your sorrow is never like anyone else's sorrow, and your anger is not similar to others anger, like the fingerprint. I'm tired of hearing these words over and over again "I understand how you feel", "I know how it looks like".. I know, I feel, but when you dig deeper, u find out that they r on the other side of the river bank, that you will never meet them. And you will get yourself into more trouble trying to explain your point of view and your feelings to them. So you will keep silent. How helpful!.

Does it really matter that others know, and why?

Why do we always try to desperately let others know how we feel, to keep explaining & explaining our own feelings for the reset of our lives? Does it make any difference; to hear some calming words, or see some brave reactions … but that wont change the fact that you are feeling the way you feel … deep inside you know they are only calming words, or the call of duty that forces them to act the way they did. Duty of love, care, fear … whatever shape of duty, something forces them to do what they do. It doesn’t matter.

- I'm not sure is it a new phase of anti-socialism; I'm tired of talking, hanging around, I'm tired of every kind of the social life, I stopped returning back the others calls, or even calling anyone even my intimate friends, family I just feel it 's a burden, I stopped going out. I have no desire in any of these stuffs, and I'm glade of that, regardless of the fact that this lifestyle wills lead me to a mild depression after a while.

- It could be a desperate attempt to find a point at the start line… to start or to finish an undesired page or a desired one … all sides and faces are similar.

- Someone passes away and a new born is carrying his same name, in commemoration of the dead, but I know that this new soul will never be a replica of the past one.

we are pathetic because we are always on the run of our end ... while it's the only affirmative truth we have!

Gratitude

2007-11-01T04:43:00.000+02:00

I want to thank everyone who dropped me a line or sent me an email during the last period, on his/her feelings. Thank you for your words & your support.

My Father died - Al bakaa lellah

2007-04-17T14:44:00.000+02:00

On Wednesday 11/4/2007 at 9:20 pm

قُل يتوفَّاكُم مَّلَكُ الموتِ الذي وكِّلَ بِكُم ثٌمَّ الى ربـِّـكم تُرجَعُون

إنا للــه و إنا إلية راجعون

Hope and Prayer

2007-04-02T01:20:00.000+02:00

maybe it's my first time here to speak about my family, but I need to push it all, lately I have been curled inside myself every kind of thought I just pushed it away, I have written many posts but I didn’t publish them, I dunno why, maybe coz I feel it’s not worthy.
Today at this moment I ‘m sitting alone in my room, melancholy and sadness everywhere …
I just don’t like to admit it, or leave a chance for myself to involve it into depression, coz I know I wont withstand it, but sometimes I cant help but isolating myself and crying in my room silently.

I pray & pray for god to heal him ... My father is ill, very ill … just 4 months ago we discovered that he is having tumors, hepatic lesions in his liver in both lobes, big ones & small ones, doctor said this tumor should have been since years for it to grow this way, he is diabetic, infected with virus C, Liver cirrhosis ….
they said no way other than chemical treatment, but we are hoping in liver transplant, we communicated with many countries & soon they should reply whether it’s possible for him to make the surgery or no. my hope in Allah to heal him is very big.
couple of hours ago he vomited around 2 liters of blood I was alone with him when I saw it, I was shocked, in our way to the hospital he vomited blood 3 times, now he is in the hospital with mum they may stay for two days at least, i couldnt stay coz It’s not permitted, i can't sleep so I decided to sit here & write, trying to find hope somewhere …

A little surgery … AL HAMD LELLAH

2007-02-08T18:31:00.000+02:00

- Sunday, February 4th …. Connoted, a day to remember
- Timing ... 10:30 PM
- General Anesthetic … No sense of time passing, unconsciousness, Desire to concentrate, to connect. Plunge into the memories of a missed 30 minutes.
- Doer ... Dr: Khalid Saied …
- Recommended: 7 days. To rest
- Condition: Tired & Worn out, and my brain is a little dead.

Darting apostrophes

2006-11-28T20:56:00.000+02:00

Sometimes we try to stir up a feeling we wish we had, and at other times we try to block or waken a feeling we wish we did not have, psyche ourselves up, trick our mind into believing something that might not be true! Avoid staring hard enough so that we may not make out the words or the meanings. Hiding what we feel, faking what we don’t. Like believing in someone who turns out to be a liar, but we just refuse the idea that such a person is lying to us, or that someone has steered us wrong, we make up excuses & turn the meanings inside out; Instead of feeling we were the fools on the side.
Sometimes I believe that life follows our lead, it acts the way it's invited to act, like a child, and at other times I believe that we are only along for the ride, we think we are really having a full control over the events in our lives but we are actually not.
The only thing we have to do is connect to our truth, learn our lessons and apply them in our lives. We get to a stage that we may lull ourselves we have grown up enough, but what we turn out to be doing is that we only deal with losses that come from doing what we know to be right and not necessarily to be what we want.

Growth and death are facts in this life; as long as we are going to die, we have to grow in this life, not only a mental growth, but a growth on all the aspects of being, and as we grow, we have to move on, we can't grow and remain the way we are. We have to change.
we usually wait for drama to change our lives, to get our attentions, we don’t try to take the initiative. To take the first step before letting this drama taking control over what we do. leaving crisis & chaos behind.

What makes us who we are? is it our dreams, or the worst things that have happened to us; traumas and calamities ?, what forces us to change, or in other words, from where the majorities of the most powerful changes in our lives come, is it a result of the happiest things or the worst things have ever happened to us?

I don’t know why, but sometimes I find it very stressful going into such maze and I have to put a lot of mental energy into controlling the whole view, that would be OK if I didn’t also have to use mental energy on a million other things.

Peculiar air of defiance (the little creature started to talk)

2006-11-25T21:58:00.000+02:00

I'm back, cant say with the biggest details or the least of details, but I have to say more than Too much of events have happened lately; the latest of them is the robbery of our Villa in the north cost we discovered yesterday. I didn’t say all events were pleasant, 80 % are glum.
What just encouraged me to grab myself and start narrating about it, is the one week paid vacation I got from work, they are making a big make over to the place & during this I took a 7 days vacation. I have to say it's the very suitable timing to take this vacation, my manager told me no required work u have to perform, just take this as a rest, that's true I'm in a bad need to rest, many decisions I have to make & I need to order my thoughts to take the right route now. One of them is that I want to leave this job, yea I mentioned it to him, but he just asked me not to rush it. Actually I have been thinking about it long before, but then I just remembered, is it my timing every year to switch jobs?, this is the same exact timing I left my job last year I never regretted that decision at then (maybe cause I always throw past things behind my back and never think about them again or don’t give myself the chance to do). But this one is for totally different reasons.
Yesterday they called, telling me that they will raise my salary, give me exception to have flexible working hours, will take overtime on every hour I stay, the 1 hour will be 1.5, leave whenever I need & it's still up to me, I can try it for another week or month then decide.
Well, what a generous offer to me. But I'm still not satisfied; there is something else I lack, the spirit, the atmosphere, a soul matter in the first place to me, well am I stupid, to think this way? But I can't overlook it every time I come to say yes.
to feel rewarded & not consumed is really important, but I never make myself a salve to anything, even (specially) money, I'm a person who follows its spirit, whatever thing can raise it, is very much welcomed, any place or kind of routine that would put it down, give it many trials, change strategy, wait for a reflection, then if it failed; this routine should be avoided. One can't live miserable coz everyone around or the logic which is developed through others' experiences say so, is not it?
If someone is breathing, transmitting his/her very negative energy in the nearby place, sure later it will be contagion for the others, specially in small environments, I always avoid being stuck with negative attitudes, conversations, or reactions as much as I can, put distance and embark-on alternatives, and backup methods.
I feel I will not be able to function the way I used to before, beside how am I supposed to know that they will meet their promises, it happened many times that they violated it, for reasons beyond their ability but they couldn’t do it, I anticipate and have well understanding and comprehension to the conditions and that what they value for me.
The abode ( now they are changing it ) was not only gloomy but dreary, somber, very stagnant no signs of life, filthy in a way that would make me sick, that forlorn and overclouded place where I daily spent two-thirds of my life. It absorbs the vividness, it puts me in a woebegone & morose mood all day long, I used to refer to it as "The sepulchral tenebrousness of the catacombs". I felt that this atmosphere was very contagion that I now feel myself stagnant, boring to death. Even what I'm writing now ( I will not try to reread it to not cancel it ).

It's a growing company, with three owners too, I expect it to grow, their vision is unique. But I have that gut feeling that my time is up there, why? I just cant withstand any of the situations that used to get on my nerves, just get on my nerves, I absorb it and silence myself, coz I understand it's just a transitory thing & later all this will change.
Because it's still a growing company, our number didn’t exceed 9 members including the 3 owners & me, now they are going to hire another 10, I cant say how much chaos and problems there, and I seem to be their beloved listener, just it happens that anyone invade me to talk, say whatever he/she wants about anyone, i listen, but never comment. Filthy environment. Lies are the hallmark of the most of actions in there, why I remained? Because I expected all this to change, also that one of the owners is somehow a friend to me, before even starting to work in the place.
I dunno why everyone there was working on distorting this friend vision to me, what is their benefit from that? I can't get it. I never believe except in what I see.
My last conversation with him, he said if you remained on your decision to leave us, I would recommend you to work with "a well known company" he used to work in too, if u still didn’t look for another job, well does that seem nice to anyone of you?. My problem is that I'm patient & I value the circumstances. sometimes I feel I'm naive, if I were to talk from the beginning I think things won't be the way it's now. But now all my objections are taken & none says I'm wrong, they obey all what I say (when I mention their sins and policy). Is that because they are obliged to & they are having no other choices?
A 5 months' events I can't brief them in one post, I wish if I can write all about it. But I always forget the details.

Swarms of Memory

2006-09-29T00:52:00.000+02:00

Well, as Ramadan was approaching ( now we are spending the holy days of ramadan, five days already gone) my friend M kept insisting that she wants a Fanooos (Ramadan Lantern), any kind of fanoos I have to give it to her, Picture, real one or whatever indication about it, not sure why it's always the Fanoos exactly, maybe coz Fanoos Ramadan is an ancient unique symbol associated with Ramadan, It has passed from generation to generation.
it gives a wonderful atmosphere to the place, u feel a kind of pleasure when u see it, and immediately you think about Ramadan Days, when u were a kid (whether u were doing that or not) before Ramadan Arrival you become excited about having a Fanoos. Playing with your own fanoos that ur parents or any member of ur family brought to u.
Ramadan that month in which The Holy Spirit "Gibril" started to deliver Allah messages to the Prophet Mohamed (pbuh). at Ramadan's night we all sit and wait for " Al Roaya".
The Stories behind (Ramadan Lanterns) back to Al-Fatimi dynasty, many stories mentioned in that place. one of them back to Alhkim Bi-Amr allah … when he wanted to light streets during Ramadan that he ordered all mosques to hang Lanterns ( Fawanees ) illuminated by candles and since then it became a custom associated with Ramadan.
Another story during Al-Fatimi dynasty too, it's said that women were not allowed to leave their houses except in Ramadan. And due to that they were preceded by a young boy carrying a lantern as an indication that a woman is passing by the street to caution men. Later boys used to carry this Fanoos to play with during Ramadan.
Ramdan in Egypt is totally different than any other where, we Egyptians adopted certain mysterious traditions that gave to Ramadan a real special taste & mode, even if some are objectionable & has no intrinsic link to religion, I really like its spirit and the way it's associated with it, Not only, Ramadan Lantern, but also, AL-Misaharaty " The one who wakes people to eat before the dawn prayer (Al-Sohour) ", the canon which used to be fired and heard throughout Cairo from a citadel over the "Al-Mokattam" to announce end of the daily fast, but now it's no more used, the streets full of coloured lights and decoratios, The Konafa & Katayif man, Abd al Motilib Song "Ramadan Gana", Families and friends gathering …. And much more of these traditions which started to go extinct, every year less rituals and less feelings of Ramadan arrivals. Why?

I still remember when I was a kid, the family gatherings at my grand ma house, waiting for Al Maghrib prayer (Sunset Prayer) which always related with the voice of Al-Shiekh " Mohamed Rif'aat " ( till now when I just hear his voice I smell and recall memories of the old classical days)
Things change, I cant see children playing out in the streets, swinging their fawanees & sinning wahawy ya wahawy, instead I can see obvious beggar children everywhere. even Fanoos Ramadan ,,, is that snazzy, lack the spirit, Chinese plastic fanoos that plays music.
We Egyptian tried to cling with our heritage as much as we can. But with days, ages, generations, everything has to fade out, to give the space to other things to emerge!
Happy Ramadan to all …

Conjecture … The X thing

2006-09-14T19:45:00.000+03:00

I don’t know, I'm sure that my impression about that X thing no matter what it is ( a situation, feeling, person, idea …. ) is correct, but why people don’t see what I see?, or they do see but they don’t say!. I notice that X thing since the first day, it steamed my temper in many ways but I tried to not be prejudgment. Later the vision became ways clear. but I'm still silent; maybe waiting for someone, only one to approve my vision, People tend to find meaning where they can, and they believe it. Maybe it's wrong maybe it's right, that's not the point, the point is that people believe it. why you people don’t see what I see?, or it's me who can look more deeply beyond people's minds, so I can feel & touch what they can't reach at. Do I analyze too much into this? Do I?

Pageantry …. This is to you 'A'

2006-09-09T00:49:00.000+03:00

There is no such type of people that would annoy me like those pretentious, bombastic, conceited, lofty, cocky persons. They feign things they don’t have. or maybe they do have but exalt it more than it really deserves. or they keep talking about it in so many different ways till you are fed up and satiate their stories about their gaudy eminence. even if that prominence is real, but that kind of windbag makes it lose its luster and grandeur. I believe that type of peoples if they weren't realizing where they are going to put their feet their grandiloquent ways and rhetorical words will be ephemeral soon, and nothing would last except that scornful put-on.
That much brag blinds their eyes to see facts, to notice people around them, coz they don’t watch or care about anyone except themselves, and how much of imposing words they get. how much a vaunting air of superiority against others they have. They could be grandiose at certain point. but their cavalier attitude may destroy them and lead them into circles & circles of that apish, haughty behavior, be cognizant of that!

Vision in Black and White

2006-06-23T20:36:00.000+03:00

Sometimes when I keep on looking, farther and farther still … I wonder; how big would big get? How big will big be … imagining the vastness of empty space …
Intrigued by things that seems so near … yet always out of reach. stuck in my tiny corner of universe, while being aware of all the spaciousness beyond, that can be explored!

Mixed and contradicted feelings …
Why we usually say we will get used for that … why we want to get used for something, adapt to a new condition, situation no matter if that new thing is something pleasant or not, following that similar ordinary old steps to solve that new unordinary thing, want our life back to the way it was before we found out that new change. But nothing ever stays the same. our ability to make patterns is at the heart of our civilization and when certain patterns in our life become ingrained we consequently become resistant to change,
It’s the fear of change that makes us build a barrier between ourselves and that new thing. It’s our choice about hiding, or about going right to what fears us.

Sometimes I feel that I want to sense that change everyday the same way I felt it the first time, I don’t want to get used for it or adapt it … every time i feel it, I want it to surprise me, hit me so deep … that I still can feel the richness of feelings and emotions, but it’s me who usually unconsciously adapt so fast to new situations, specially the unpleasant ones, and the first feeling always fades away.

It comes from our constantly and endlessly seeking to establish new networks to process and store knowledge. to make sense of what we experience, continually searching for new data for new experience and give it the time to make sense of them

it’s true that we learn by making connections to enable meaning and learning to flow.
And our brain is so good at making connections that it will often try to full in the gaps even when it’s missing information, establishing the similar connections with each other over time.

Life is about asking questions, not waiting answers, even if we could not find the answer to our questions, that shouldn’t stop us from keeping to ask questions …

A & S

2006-06-16T01:08:00.000+03:00

Today ...

Egypt

2006-05-31T06:01:00.000+03:00

Egypt is bigger than this
It’s not a regime …
It cant be symbolized or abbreviated in a person, or era…
For some … it is just …
A mere spot
They are standing on …
Trying to draw their gains from
others tremble …
Trying to amend or overthrow it.

Days will go by
Species will be extinct
And Egypt will remain …
Justice can’t sleep forever
If humans couldn’t save it
Allah will …
Egypt is always precious
And we are the splendid Egyptians

Reflection of Intermittent Thoughts

2006-05-14T22:06:00.000+03:00

Stetting alone and retreating unsociably inside myself, generating words gathered in lines, use my hand to produce dots on my screen … maybe aiming to send a message in code for someone who is in fact somewhere else, someone I know nothing about and might never meet. While my message is traveling for days maybe weeks through time and space … sometimes it’s understood other times not, I don’t know who may read it … it feels like a one-way process missing all kinds of basic communication… there is a potential of failure in putting across what I want to say and how I feel; so if I was writing for people indeed I’d relinquish writing long time ago, but in fact I do write out to myself matching my style, my mood & my needs, although It’s not a typical diary whereas you can’t find a very detailed personal post here, I don’t know, it’s against my nature, but maybe one day I would set and write something very detailed here, till then you shouldn’t expect it, occasionally next Friday 19th of May it will be a whole year of blogging, a complete year!.
along this one year journey I met many bloggers I prefer the term “Next Door Bloggers”, coz I feel it as houses and doors … and behind each door i would find stories and thoughts, i enter it with one knock on my “Go” button or URL linked to my page, at every door step I feel different impression, a certain thought related to that owner of this place, and a special spot I prefer there, a certain post or conversation!.

I’m not sure whether it was a total waste of my time on meaninglessness … spending hours on such page, I’m not sure if it really worth my time … let me say it’s mercurial and let it go at that!.

Outlandish

2006-05-10T07:16:00.000+03:00

I'm bored of you all ... I'm in state of total blockage

I used not to expect much from people, I always put myself in such status and ask people to do the same, often we go through an entire relationship without realizing that each of us is paying attention to different things, based on different information.
We know ourselves better than anyone else can, we have access to different information about ourselves, others don’t … I know my dreams, hopes, fears and the constraints I’m under, others don’t. but they think that they know everything they need to, telling different stories even when they all have the same information, forgetting that they should be influenced by past experiences, the past gives meaning to the present and it’s only in the context of someone’s past experience that we can understand why what that person is saying or doing makes any kind of sense.
But instead they apply their implicit rules which are developed from their own past experience by which they live their lives; it tells them how they should act & how things are supposed to be.

Knowing all this in my mind, didn’t protect me from the trauma so that I preferred to put myself in a state of disconnection, supposing that this will give me limited visions, fixed, mute and still, but instead I I felt a little off-balance when things became somehow simpler and clearer and I got more self-conscious.
I have to deal with it like hits of some delicious drug & pungent observation of human frailty, allusions play hide and seek capturing the most fleeting memory; then there should be a sense of consolation at its conclusion.

Pre-planned?

2006-05-07T20:29:00.000+03:00

I just read this Article in Akhbar El-Youm … the subject makes you re-open your eyes to realize more facts around you. Really, everything you see now is planned 25 years ago or more ? Maybe it’s true, but I can see just one thing which cant be planned, it’s our reaction, cause only us who knows what, when and where we should direct it, what we do today is reflected tommorow, and if we didn’t do something for it, nothing will be reflected at then. you shouldn’t blame others for tomorrow; only blame yourself ,,, Because what you expect tommorow should be built by today!

Here I found The Original Linda Heard Article; on which the coming article is based.

هل يعقل أن يكون ذلك كله محض مصادفات..؟!
بقلم مها عبد الفتاح

علاقات الدول مع الدول مصالح. في الأول وفي الآخر سواء 'مع' أو 'ضد' هي مصالح تتقابل حينا وتتعارض في معظم الأحيان وكله وارد. ولكل أن يحمي مصالحه ويحقق أهدافه طالما بغير صدام.من هنا وجد ما يعرف بالسياسة وعلينا أن نأخذ الأمور من هذا المنطلق. نسعي ونحاذر. ندرك ما يراد بنا فنتحاشاه ونفوت الغرض، وما نريده فنعمل له ونناور لنتحصل عليه... عادي!في جولة الكترونية 'تكعبلت' في عنوان يستوقف علي التو. رأي باحثة كاتبة بريطانية تعرف بخبرة تخصص في شئون المنطقة هي ليندا هيرد وتتساءل في عنوانها 'اذا ما كانت أمريكا تتولي شن حروب إسرائيل..؟' والرأي مبني علي ما يعتبر اليوم وثيقة وعثرت عليها 'الجمعية العربية لخريجي الجامعات الأمريكية' لولاهم لبقيت في طي الكتمان، اذ ترجموا عن العبرية نصا ورد في نشرة منظمة الصهيونية العالمية 'كيفونيم' في عام 1982، ورقة بعنوان استراتيجية لإسرائيل..' بعثوا بنسخة منه إلي لندا هيرد ونشروا النص كاملا في موقعهم علي الإنترنت '11 صفحة'... عندما تقرأ ما جاء في هذه الدراسة الإسرائيلية أو البحث أو المقال وسمه ما شئت ستذهل لمدي التطابق بين الاستراتيجية المكتوبة عام 1982 و.. لنقل التطبيق العملي الذي يجري لتحقيقها منذ ذلك الحين إلي اليوم ولا أجد تعبيرا أكثر دقة من كلمة تطبيق! بقي للعلم أن شخص من وضع وكتب هذه الورقة وفق ما ذكرته لندا هيرد هو باحث وكاتب وصحفي إسرائيلي كان يعمل في الخارجية الإسرائيلية أو علي صلة وثيقة بها اسمه أوديد ينون Oded Yinon و... كل ما أطلبه الآن من القاريء أن يمعن فيما تتضمنه هذه الاستراتيجية ومدي تطابقها مع الأحداث التي وقعت وما تزال منذ ذلك الحين.. لعلها مصادفة؟ ولكن مصادفاتها كثر، وأعني بالأحداث ما تنزه عنها الأقدار أي ما وقع منها بقرارات سياسية كمثل الحروب التي أندلعت، والغزوات التي شنت، وما يتبع من هذا وذاك من تداعيات. وأستئذن القاريء من بعد ايجاز المضمون العام لتلك الاستراتيجية، البدء أولا بما يخص منها 'مصر'...
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ابتداء يقوم بنيان ذلك المقال الوثيقة علي أسس افتراض بأن استمرارية إسرائيل في الوجود يتوقف علي تحقيقها مقومات قوة امبريالية إقليمية مهيمنة تقتصر عليها وحدها، وهو ما يستدعي بداهة ما يضمنه في الورقة وهو أن تضمن 'تفكيك الدول العربية حتي يمكن إعادة 'تخريط' دول أصغر حجما وأقل فعالية وغير مؤهلة للتنافس مع إسرائيل... '!' وهذا الباحث أوديد ينون يصف العالم العربي في ورق الاستراتيجية هذه بأنه عالم أشبه 'ببيت من ورق' أقامه أجانب عن المنطقة، رسموا علي أرض الخريطة دولا بما فيها من أقليات وأعراق... وعندما أبدأ بمضمون ما ورد فيها عن مصر فإن هدفي هو التنبيه عن نموذج من التفكير ان لم نقل عنه منحرف فهو يمثل تعارضا صارخا ومصالحنا القومي والوطنية... ولابد ويكون مفهوما جيدا لدينا هنا كمصريين حيث نجد بيننا فريقا منا أبعد ما يكونون عن فهم النوازع الحقيقية للدولة العبرية بحيث هم يلبون لها ما تتلمظ عليه بدون أن يدروا.. فواضح أن الإسرائيليين أو شريحة منهم أو كاتب هذه الورقة أو كل هؤلاء يئنوا حسرة ومرارة من واقع استعادة مصر لسيناء وفق اتفاقية كامب ديفيد 'لبترولها وغازها وسائر مصادرها الأولية وغير ذلك'.. لذا فهو يسجل أن في 'استعادتهم سيناء أولوية سياسية وقفت في طريقها اتفاقية كامب ديفيد...' ثم يقول بالنص 'سيكون لزاما علينا أن نتصرف بحيث نتمكن من إعادة الأحوال إلي ما كانت عليه قبل زيارة السادات إلي القدس ثم توقيع اتفاقية السلام مع مصر في مارس 1979'.... و'أما إذا حدث تمزيع لمصر مع ظهور دولة مسيحية قبطية في صعيد مصر فسوف يؤدي ذلك إلي إزالة دول أخري في المنطقة من نحوها الحالي' '!!!' ثم يضع تصورا لحسابات أو لنقل تمنيات من حيث تبدر مصر وتفصم من جانبها معاهدة السلام مع إسرائيل مما يدفع عندئذ إلي فرصة العودة بالمدرعات مرة أخري إلي سيناء...'! وان كان هذا ما لم يحدث رغم أحداث مريرة وقعت بعضها ربما يدخل في أبواب الاستفزازات الصريحة التي دفعت أكثر من مرة عناصر وطنية عديدة للمطالبة بفصم عري المعاهدة مع إسرائيل أي وكأنهم يندفعون إلي تلبية ما تتمناه دون أن يدروا 'ولاحظوا أن هذه الورقة الوثيقة نشرت عام 1982' ثم لاتنسوا أيضا أن العلاقة المتينة بين مصر وأمريكا برغم الشد والجذب والخلافات من حين لحين الا أنها تعتبر أيضا عامل ردع لمثل هذا الفكر في إسرائيل.. فكر المتحسرين علي سيناء!
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نعود إلي ورقة استراتيجية تفتيت المنطقة نجد '... ان في تفتيت سوريا والعراق إلي مناطق تقوم علي أسس عرقية ودينية كما في لبنان هو هدف أساسي...' فالعراق الغني بالبترول يزخر في داخله ما يسهل هذا الهدف..' ثم يقول: 'وتفكيك العراق بالنسبة إلينا هو الأهم من تفكيك سوريا، فالعراق هو الأقوي وهو علي المدي القصير الأخطر علينا من حيث التهديد...' وفي فقرة أخري: 'ان حربا عراقية إيرانية تكفل تمزيع العراق بما يؤدي إلي اسقاطه من الداخل... وأي مواجهات أخري عربية عربية هي علي المدي القصير عوامل مساعدة وتقلل من مسافة الطريق الموصل إلي أهدافنا... فالأهم هو تجزئة العراق لطوائف كما في سوريا ولبنان...' ثم فقرة أخري: 'تقسيم العراق كما في سوريا إلي ولايات حسب خطوط عرقية ودينية هو وضع ممكن تحقيقه بمثل ما كانت عليه الأحوال في عهد الامبراطورية العثمانية.. ايجاد دول ثلاث أو أكثر حول المدن الأساسية' البصرة.. بغداد.. الموصل.. ومناطق الشيعة في الجنوب تفصل ما بين السنة والأكراد في الشمال'..! ولاتنسي عزيز القاريء أن هذا كله قد ورد عام 1982 في نشرة منظمة الصهيونية العالمية Kivunim: ! ومنذ ذلك الحين وقعت الحرب بين العراق وإيران بلا أسباب ولا دوافع مفهومة حتي الآن واستمرت لثماني سنوات متصلة وانتهت عام 1988 بضحايا ما يقرب من مليون نفس ما بين قتيل وجريح لكنها لم تؤد إلي تفكيك العراق... ولا بعد حرب عاصفة الصحراء التي طردت قوات صدام من الكويت بعد أن غزاها بحماقته إلا أن العراق بقي متماسكا كدولة و... لم يتحقق ذلك إلا مع غزو العراق عام 2003 ثم الاحتلال الذي أعقبه ثم الدستور الذي وضع علي أسس خطوط طائفية يجمعها فيدرالية مطاطة مع حكم ذاتي جزئي للأكراد في الشمال وللشيعة في الجنوب بكل ما يحمله ذلك من عوامل صراع مذهبي عرقي يتهدد البلاد بكل توابعه.
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سوريا والتحول الأمريكي شبه المفاجيء عنها بنسبة 180 درجة، رغم انه وحتي غزو العراق كان لدمشق علاقات جيدة مع واشنطن.. ثم أن سوريا شاركت في حرب تحرير الكويت مع قوات التحالف بقيادة أمريكا غير تعاون المخابرات السورية في الحرب ضد الإرهاب وتقديمها بمعلومات قيمة إلي واشنطن ولكن فجأة بدأت سلسلة الاتهامات تنهال علي سوريا من كل نوع.. سوريا بدأت نظامها وبنفس أفعالها وبسياساتها فماذا جري؟!.. اغتيل الزعيم اللبناني رفيق الحريري في جريمة اهتز لها العالم واتهمت سوريا باغتياله منذ اليوم الأول ولا تألوا واشنطن جهدا في أضعاف نظام حكم بشار الأسد بكل سبيل حاليا ولو حدث وتحقق اسقاط هذا النظام فيكاد يجمع المراقبون علي أن سوريا ستقع في هذه الحالة ضحية الطائفية المذهبية مثل العراق.. أي يعقب صراع مميت.
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لبنان التي ما كادت تبرأ من الحرب الأهلية وتأخذ بنوعية من التوحد الداخلي الا وتتعرض هي الأخري لمرمي الخطر وانقسمت إلي من مع دمشق ومن ضد دمشق.. يبقي الصراع الفلسطيني الإسرائيلي وقد عرض له بصراحة مذهلة مزعجة في آن واحد: '... دفع الفلسطينيين عبر نهر الأردن إلي حيث دولتهم الفلسطينية' وما من حل غير فصل الأمتين: العرب 'ولا يقول الفلسطينيين' إلي الأردن... واليهود فيما تبقي من مناطق الضفة الغربية..' وهذا ما لم يتحقق كما كان يراد ربما للتقارب الشديد الذي نما بين الأردن والولايات المتحدة خصوصا مع نهايات حكم الملك حسين والذي واصله بثبات نجله الملك عبدالله الثاني ولعل في هذا يدرأ عن الأردن شر تمنيات بعض الساسة الإسرائيليين فما عاد أحد يطرحهاا الآن علنا في إسرائيل و.. راجع المقدمة مرة أخري لو سمحت.

الأسبوع القادم: التطبيق بحذافيره مع إيران

Speaking Politics … May I ? Al Baha’ia In Egypt!!

2006-04-30T20:56:00.000+03:00

I don’t know from where to start … this issue is new still, but I’m sure the sequences won’t be good on all levels & sides.
Yesterday I have been watching Program Al-Hakika on Dream II Channel , it was discussing that new judgment sentence which is considering the Baha’ia a religion to be written in the ID & Birthday certificate same as Jewish, Christian & Muslim…

For me I didn’t know much about this new thing except its name, but yesterday I started to realize that it’s something much more beyond just the name, it’s not just a religion as they claim, it’s a new Zionist plan which has just started to carve itself … and I don’t know for where we have to go if it will be true!.

عقيدتهم, معتقداتم ... عن تاريج هذا الفكر
الذي بدأ كمخطط بين الروس و اليهود ... فلسفتهم في الحياة هي الصهيونية ضد الأسلام ... وأسقاط فريضة الجهاد التي هي العدو الألد لأي محتل.
ويدعون أنهم يؤمنون بجميع الديانات السابقة لكن الرسول محمد صلى الله عليه واله و سلم ليس هو خاتم الأنبياء وأن الوحي الألهي مستمر !!!
قبلتهم هي قصر البهجة في عكا واليه يحجون. للمزيد هنا و هنا والجزء الثاني من البرنامج يذاع يوم السبت الثامنة مساءا و يعاد الأحد الرابعة.

وكان مجمع البحوث الإسلامية بالأزهر، قد أصدر في شهر ديسمبر من عام 2003. فتوى تعلن أن " الإسلام لا يقر أي ديانة أخرى غير ما أمرنا القرآن باحترامه، فلا ينبغي، بل يمتنع أن تكون في مصر ديانة غير الإسلام والمسيحية واليهودية لأن كل ديانة أخرى غير مشروعة ومخالفة للنظام العام". وطلبت الفتوى من السلطات التشريعية والقضائية والتنفيذية اعمال شئونها في هذا الأمر، ووصفت الفتوى المذهب البهائي بأنه وامثاله " من نوعيات الأوبئة الفكرية الفتاكة التي يجب أن تجند الدولة كل إمكاناتها لمكافحته والقضاء عليه".

والان يصدر حكم قضائي بالأعتراف بها, أنا لسة ما أعرفش تفاصيل هذا الحكم. لكنها البداية على ما أظن.
ما معنى هذا الحكم أن يمارسوا طقوسهم في العلن وتحت مسمع و مرأى الجميع في أطار أنه شرعي و أين؟ في بلد اسلامي وهل تستطيع منعهم من أداء ما يسموه بفريضة الحج.
وبما أنهم بيحرموا الجهاد فأكيد مالهمش تجنيد. وممكن ده يفتح مجال للتلاعب. وايه لو ينزل له منهج في المدارس, أكيد مش حيدرس الأسلام أو المسيحية. أو يعفى من حصص التربية الدينية... أسئلة ... أسئلة...
وأخيرا سنه 1960. بقرار جمهوري أغلق جمال عبد الناصر جميع المحافل البهائية لأنها تعتبر قنوات للصهيونيه و قضى بعقوبة من ستة أشهر الى الثلاث سنوات لمن يمارس هذه العقيده و الأن نسمح لها أن تأخذ اطار شرعي ... فاضل ايه تاني ممكن يتقال!
بدأت السنه بالرسوم المسيئة للرسول, كارثة العبارة, وقفة القضاه و ماحدث في أعقابة, تفجيرات ذهب, والان الأعتراف بالبهائييت في مصر ..... لسه فاضل 7 شهور لأنتهاء هذه السنه الكبيسه, المفروض نتوقع أحداث أكثر من ذلك في طريفها للحدوث ؟

The Missed Part

2006-04-24T18:05:00.000+02:00

what do you miss in your life?

Qs & As …

2006-04-14T03:03:00.000+02:00

Tagged By Wonderer…
- Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
but that she loved herself and all her promise and the life to come …

- Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I felt dizzy, giddy! … trying to catch something!

- What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I haven’t watched TV since 3 days …

- Without looking, guess what time it is?
2:40 am

- Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
2:29 am

- With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
my breathes, maybe the plants around me exhaling carbon dioxide lol… it’s almost quiet here

- When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
today, I went on an aimless short walk hiking for 15 mins & bought something to drink, the weather was encouraging for that.

- Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Wonderer Blog! & a drawing I just made

- What are you wearing?
Pyjamas

- Did you dream last night?
I don’t think so

- When did you last laugh?
With my friend on the phone couple of hours ago

- What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Two small transparent glasses with plants inside hanged & a small Chinese frame in the middle. some other different frames … a mirror with some rose drawings on ,,

- Seen anything weird lately?
Yes, this Quiz

- What do you think of this quiz?
I just said …

- What is the last film you saw?
Wicker Park & Wuthering Heights

- If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Just give me those millions first …

- Tell me something about you that I dunno.
Well, after I saw the Tag and started to do it, I felt hungry so I went to the kitchen & ate Cornflakes with milk, and here I’m back doing this quiz!!

- If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
hmmmm … well for me, the world is an irreversible & uncontrollable process! I believe I cannt rewind it to a prev. state. Or expect its coming state, so I have just to change the way I see the world it’s the only way to get the world changed, at least to my own very closed acquaintance

- Do you like to dance?
yes a lot

- George Bush.
Didn’t I say that this Quiz is weird !!, now with this name mentioned in this Quiz I should consider my answers to be accused as “Terrorist Attack” …

- Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Lojayn … it means “Liquid Silver”

- Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Ahmed, Adham … Or a name starts with “L” to match the girl, anyone can suggest ?

- Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes

- What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Pearly gates? … when I’m blessed to talk with Allah, I would like to hear it “we gave you good in this world, and in the hereafter you are of the righteous.”

- 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Alina, Nightlegend, Essam"You was not around from a while, it will be nice to see u doing this quiz”, Eve, Louuu.

Pride and Prejudice Vs. North and South

2006-04-01T01:53:00.000+02:00

Pride and Prejudice is that Classic novel written by Jane Austen on 1813 and nearly the most popular novel of hers, actually i didn’t read it, but I have watched the TV drama & liked it, afterwards I looked for the novel, there is no big difference between the original book & the serial I guess.
Then I had the opportunity to watch the 2004 TV drama North and South it’s the TV adaptation of the novel written by Elizabeth Gaskell…Both of the novels were written in the Victorian era … and both of them nearly have the same idea and sequence of events, but with different circumstances. Both are expressing that high state of passion or maybe they looked the same due to the dramatization.
Nearly the same portrayal to the transformation which happens to the characters Mr:Darcy (Colin Firth) in Pride and Prejudice & JohnThornton (Richard Armitage) in North and South. After The proposal scene and how both of them have been rejected by Elizabith Bennet(Jennifer Ehle) in Pride and Prejudice and Margaret Hale (Daniela Denby-Ashe) in North and South, whilst devastated by this refusal they still regard & care for their beloved silently, I think that is the common thing I liked the most about those two serial drama ... that aura of the gripping spectacle, burning passion, This pride & hard character that resolves in hurt vulnerably under the surface of that stony face and yet still giving these smouldering looks.
The gentleman behavior moral, upstanding, sensitive, respectful, delicate, intense, confident ….. this raw love & powerfully evoked emotions. the struggle & contrast between the two emotions of love, hate then love again at the end.I’m not sure of the transformation from harsh character to more tender side person is because of the shocking opinion they got from their beloved or it was a prejudgment from the heroine character, then later the truth just floated on the surface bringing the real personality of Mr: Darcy & John Thornton.I guess no men are like that nowadays lol.
But talking about the differences …
I believe that Mr: Thornton in North and south was full of motion & passion than Mr:Darcy who reflected in every move the title “Pride & Prejudice” proud and disagreeable, doesn’t perform that least sense of communication with others … Mr: Thornton was more real, he wasn’t in control all the time, his emotions and temper were tangible & unpredictable. According to the feminine part … I see that Margaret Judgments outsourced from her attachment to where she came from, “The South” she rushed her opinions & was really blunt, she was showing a complete ignorant to the place she currently uprooted to. But for Elizabeth at the moment she was reasonable to have these believe against Mr: Darcy.
I cant say I like Pride and Prejudice more than North & South or the contrarily, but I found that the drama of North and South was deeper and more vital beside it Included some descriptions to the period of the industrial revolution & it reflected some of the social issues & conflicts at that time although I think that there were some inappropriate scenes due to time constraints, like the last scene in the railway station while they were kissing in public … I’m not sure it was that easy to be done in public at that time.
Skipping all the Shortcoming here & there I enjoyed every piece of both classical drama.

Anyone who is interrested to read about these two novels this site “19thnovels”, has a great collecton of free online text for 19th Century English Novels Among them …

Pride and Prejudice
North and South

Quotes from North & South:
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Mr Hale: Margaret ! Come in, Meet my Friend and first proper pupil, Mr Thorton. This is my daughter, Margaret.
Mr Thorton: I believe we had already met. I’m afraid Miss Hale and I met under unpleasant circumstances. I dismissed a worker for smoking in the sorting room.
Margaret: you beat a defenseless man who was not your equal.
Mr Thorton: I have a temper. Fire is the greatest danger in my mil. I have to be strict.
Margaret: a gentleman would not use his fits on such a pathetic creature or shout at children.
Mr Thorton: I dare say a gentleman has not had to see 300 corpses laid out on a hillside as I did last may. Many were children. And that was an accidental flame. The whole mill destroyed in 20 mins.

Mr Thorton: I won’t deny it. I’d rather be toiling here, success or failure than leading a dull, prosperous life in the south, with their slow, careless days of ease.
Margaret: you are mistaken. You don’t know anything about the south. It maybe a little less energetic in its pursuit of competitive trade, but there is less suffering than I have seen in your mills. And all for what?
Mr Thorton: we make cotton.
Margaret: which no one wants to wear.
Mr Thorton: I think that I might say that you don’t know the north. We masters are not all the same, whatever your prejudice against Milton men.
Margaret: I’ve seen how you treat your men. You treat them as you wish because they are beneath you.
Mr Thorton: No, I don not.
Margaret: you’ve been blessed with good luck and fortune, but others have not.
Mr Thorton: I do know something of hardship. 16 years ago, my father died .. in very miserable circumstances. I became the head of the family very quickly. I was taken out of school. I think that I might say that my only good luck was to have a mother of such strong will and integrity. I went to work in a draper’s shop and my mother managed so that I could put three shillings aside a week. That taught me self-denial. Now I’m able to keep my mother is such comfort as her age requires, and I thank her every day for that early training. So Miss Hale, I don’t think that I was especially blessed with good fortune or luck.

Mr Thorton: she did save me. But, Mother, I daren’t believe such a woman could care for me.
Hannah Thornton: don’t be so foolish. What more proof do you need, that she should act in such a shameless way?. I’m sure she will take you from me. That is why I didn’t want you to go to see her today. I wanted one last evening of being the first in your affections. I will have to change the initials on our linen. They will bear her name now, hers and yours.
Mr Thorton: I know she doesn’t care for me. But I can’t remain silent. I must ask her.
Hannah Thornton: don’t be afraid, john. She has admitted it to the world. I may yet even learn to like her for it. It must have taken a great deal to overcome her pride.

Mr Thorton: I hadn’t noticed the color of this fruit. Miss Hale I’m afraid I was very ungrateful yesterday.
Margaret: you have nothing to be grateful for.
Mr Thorton: I think that I do.
Margaret: I did only the least that anyone would have.
Mr Thorton: that can’t be true.
Margaret: I was, after all, responsible for placing you in danger. I would have done the same for any man there.
Mr Thorton: any man? So you approve of that violence? You think I got what I deserved?
Margaret: No, of course not! But they were desperate. I know if you were to talk to them ..
Mr Thorton: I forgot you imagine them to be your friends.
Margaret: but if you were to be reasonable ..
Mr Thorton: me? Are you saying that I’m unreasonable?
Margaret: if you would talk with them and not set the soldiers on them, I know they would ..
Mr Thorton: they will get what they deserve. Miss Hale, I didn’t just come here to thank you. I came because .. I think it very likely … I know I’ve never found myself in this position before. It’s difficult to find the words. Miss Hale my feelings for you are very strong.
Margaret: Please, stop. Please don’t go any further.
Mr Thorton: Excuse me?
Margaret: please don’t continue in that way. It’s not the way of a gentleman.
Mr Thorton: I’m well aware that in your eyes at least I’m not a gentleman. But I think I deserve to know why I am offensive.
Margaret: you speak to me as if it were your duty to rescue my reputation!
Mr Thorton: I spoke to you about my feelings because I love you. I have no thought for your reputation.
Margaret: you think that because you are rich and my father is in reduced circumstances that you can have me for your possession? I should expect no less from someone in trade!
Mr Thorton: I don’t want to possess you I wish to marry you because I love you!
Margaret: you shouldn’t because I don’t like you and never have
Mr Thorton: one minute we talk of the color of fruit .. the next of love. How does that happen?
Margaret: I’m sorry
Mr Thorton: for what? That you find my feelings to you offensive? Or that you assume I’m only capable of thinking in terms of buying and selling? Or I take pleasure in sending my employees to an early grave?
Margaret: No! No. of course not. I’m sorry to be so blunt. I have not learnt how to refuse. How to respond when a man speaks to me as you just have.
Mr Thorton: there are others? This happens to you everyday? You must have to disappoint so many men that offer you their heart.
Margaret: please understand, Mr Thornton …
Mr Thornton: I do understand. I understand you completely

Margaret: Father is waiting you in the setting room. Mr Thornton I have to thank you
Mr Thornton: No, no thanx. I didn’t do anything for you. Do you not realize the risk that you take in being so indiscreet? Have you no explanation for your behavior that night at the station?. You must imagine what I must think.
Margaret: Mr: Thornton, Please, I’m aware of what you must think of me. I know how it must have appeared, being with a stranger so late at night. The man you saw me with, he .. the secret is another person’s and I cant explain it without doing him harm.
Mr Thornton: I have no wish to spry into the gentleman’s secrets. I’m only concerned as your father’s friend. I hope you realize that any foolish passion for you on my part is entirely over. I’m looking to the future.

Quotes from Pride and Prejudice:
------------------------------------------------
Mr Darcy: forgive me. I hope you are feeling better.
Elizabeth Bennet: I am thank you. Will you not sit down?
Mr Darcy: in vain I have struggled. It will not do! My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. In declaring myself thus I’m aware that I will be going expressly against the wishes of my family, my friends, and, I hardly need add, my own better judgment. The relative situation of our families makes any alliance between us a reprehensible connection. As a rational man I can’t but regard it as such myself, but it cant be helped. Almost from the earliest moments of your acquaintance, I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard, which despite my struggles, has overcome every rational objection. And I beg you, most fervently, to relieve my suffering and consent to be my wife.
Elizabeth Bennet: in such cases as these, I believe the established mode is to express as sense of obligation. But I can’t. I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I’m sorry to cause pain to anyone, but it was unconsciously done, and I hope will be of short duration.
Mr Darcy: and is that all the reply I am to expect? I might wonder why, with so little effort of civility I am rejected.
Elizabeth Bennet:I might wonder why, with so evident a desire to offend and insult me, you chose to tell me that you like me against your will, your reason, and even against your character! Was this not some excuse for incivility if I was uncivil? I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. Do you think any consideration could tempt me to accept the man who has ruined the happiness of a most beloved sister? Can you deny that you have done it?
Mr Darcy: I have no wish to deny it. I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister and I rejoice in my success. Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself
Elizabeth Bennet: it’s not merely that on which my dislike of you is founded. Long before, my dislike was decided when I heard Mr Wickham’s story of your dealings with him. How can yo defend yourself on that subject?
Mr Darcy: you are taking eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns!
Elizabeth Bennet: who that knows of his misfortunes can help feeling an interest in him?
Mr Darcy: his misfortunes! Yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed!
Elizabeth Bennet: and of your infliction! You have reduced him to his present state of poverty, and yet you can treat is misfortunes with contempt and redicule!
Mr Darcy: and this is your opinion of me? My faults by this calculation are heavy indeed. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by the confession of the scruples which long prevented my forming any serious design on you. Had canceled my struggles and flattered you. But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related they were natural and just did you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? To congratulate myself on the hope of relations whose condition in life is so below my own?
Elizabeth Bennet: you are mistaken Mr: Darcy the mode of your decoration merely spared me any concern for refusing you, had you been more gentleman-like manner. You couldn’t make me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would tempt me to accept it. From the very beginning your manners convinced me of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others. Within a month, I felt you were the last man whom I could ever marry!
Mr Darcy: you’ve said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings and now have only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Please forgive me for having taken up your time and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.

The Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) and the relation with the UV and infra-red rays

2006-03-18T17:31:00.000+02:00

I have received this by mail, it’s in Arabic & I will share it on the same shape I received it

علاقة الرسول بالأشعة الحمراء والفوق بنفسجية
أما بعد فهذا الموضوع الغريب التالي ابحث فيه منذأربع سنوات " طبيب عربي " حتى أثبته فأنا طبيب عيون وقد تعمقت كثيرا في حديث الرسول الكريم صلى الله عليه وسلم الذي يقول فيه: إذا سمعتم أصوات الديكه فسلوا الله من فضله فإنها رأت ملكا وإذا سمعتم نهيق الحمي فتعوذوا بالله من الشيطان فإنها رأت شيطاناومن هذا الحديث يتضح لنا ...أن قدره الجهاز البصري للإنسان محدودة ...وتختلف عن القدرة البصرية للحمير ...والتي بدورها تختلف في قدرتها عن القدرة البصرية للديكه ...وبالتالي فإن قدره البصر لدى الإنسان محدوده لا ترى ما تحت الاشعه الحمراء ولا ما فوق الاشعه البنفسجية ...لكن قدره الديكه والحمير تتعدى ذلك ...والسؤال هنا ...كيف يرى الحمار والديك الجن والملائكة ؟???الجواب هو ...أن الحمير ترى الأشعة الحمراء والشيطان وهو من الجان خلق من نار أي من الاشعه تحت لحمراء ... لذلك ترى الحمير الجن ولا ترى الملائكة ...أما الديكة فترى الأشعة البنفسجية والملائكة مخلوقة من نور أي من الأشعة البنفسجية ...لذلك تراها الديكة ..وهذا يفسر لنا لماذا تهرب الشياطين عند ذكر الله ... والسبب هو لأن الملائكة تحضر إلى المكان الذي يذكرفيه الله فتهرب الشياطين....وهذا يذكرنا بالمثل الذي يقول... إذا حضرت الملائكة ذهبت الشياطين... والسؤال ....لماذا تهرب الشياطين عند وجودالملائكة ؟?? الجواب لأن الشياطين تتضرر من رؤية نور الملائكة ...بمعنى أخر ...إذا اجتمعت الأشعة الفوق بنفسجية والأشعة الحمراء في مكانفإن الأشعةالحمراء تتلاشى.. !!!!!
المهم في موضعنا بل الأهم هو ...
عن ابن عباس وعن عائشة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم( كان يرى بالليل في الظلمة كما يرى بالنهار في الضوء )
عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنه قال: قال صلى الله عليه وسلم: ( رأيت الملائكة تغسل حمزة بن عبد المطلب وحنظله ابن الراهب )
عن انس رضي الله عنه قال: قال صلى الله عليه وسلم: ( رصوا صفوفكم وقاربوا بينها وحاذوا بالأعناق فوالذى نفسي بيده إني لأرى الشياطين تدخل من خلل الصفوف كأنها الحذف) والحذف هي الأغنام السوداء الصغيرة ...
هذه الأحاديث الثلاثة تبين لنا أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم كان يتمتع بميزة وهي ...في الحديث الأول / أنه كان يرى بالليل كرؤيته بالنهار ...وهذا ما توصل إليه العلم بعد 1420 عام !!!!! وذلك عن طريق المناظير الليلية التي ترى بالليل ...ورغم ذلك فإن الرسول يتفوق بصريا على هذه المناظير ...لأنه كان يرىبالليل بكل وضوح كرؤيتنا نحن بالنهار ...أما المناظير الليلية المصنوعة الآنفإنها لا ترى بالليل بشكل واضح ...فأكثر هذه المناظير تكون فيها الرؤيا ذات لون واحد ...أخضر أو أحمر مثلا ....أما في الحديث الثاني / وهو رؤيته للملائكة ...فهذا يثبت أن الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم كان يرى الأشعة الفوق بنفسجية ...وإلى الآن وبعد 1420 عام لم يتمكن العلم من اختراع جهاز يرى الأشعة الفوق بنفسجية ...وإلا لكانوا رأوا الملائكة ...
أما الحديث الثالث/ فأعتقدأنه قد أتضح لكم ولا يحتاج لشرح ...
قال تعالى (فكشفنا عنك غطائك فبصرك اليوم حديد ) الايه
قال تعالى في وصف حور العين ( وعند هم قاصرات الطرف عين) الايهحابسات الأعين عن أزواجهن فقصرت أبصارهن على أزواجهن لا يمددن طرفا إلى غيرهم والعين- النجل العيون ...
توضيح علمي ..
عندما اجتمعت كلمتا قاصرات وعين في ايه واحده ...تبادر إلى ذهني موضوع قصر النظر ...وهى الحالةالتي لا يرى المصاب بها إلا عن قرب... وكبر حجم العدسة هو احد الأسباب الهامة لقصر النظر ... الذي في نفس الوقت يضفى لصاحبته حسنا وبهاء ... وقصير النظرلا يستطيع رؤية الأشياء البعيدة بوضوح بدرجه تتفاوت بتفاوت شدته ....الإسراءوالمعراج بالروح والجسد و البصر الخارق( بصر حديد) ..قال تعالى لنبيه الكريم ( فكشفنا عنك غطائك فبصرك اليوم حديد ) ..كل إنسان يوجد على بصره غطاء يمنعه من رؤية أشياء كثيرة ..وبعد الموت يصبح بصر الإنسان قويا بعد أن يزاح هذا الغطاءعن العين ..عندها سيرى كل شيء الجن والملائكة وغير ذلك ..
والرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم كان لديه بصر حديد وكما ورد في الآيةفإن الله أزاح عنه هذاالغطاء ليرى كل شيء { فبصرك اليوم حديد } ..فكان يرى الملائكة ...وكان يستطيع رؤية المصلين من وراءه ...( أقيموا الركوع والسجود فوالله أنى لأراكم منبعد ظهري إذا ركعتم وإذا سجدتم) رواه البخاري ومسلموكان يرى بالليل بوضوح كمايرى بالنهار في الضوء ...وكأن بصر الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم هو نفسه بصر أي شخص منا بعد الممات أي بصر حديد قوى ونافذ ...وهو ليس بصر الجسد الحي الضعيف ... قال الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم :( إن الروح إذا قبض تبعه البصر) افهم أن الروح مفصولة عن البصر ويتبعها البصر أين ما ذهبت... وكأنه جهازمستقل بذاته ...والبصر هنا هو البصر الخارق (حديد) مكشوف عنه الغطاء ...لااعتقد أن عين الميت هما الناظرتان للروح فتتبعانها ...لانهما أصبحتا غيرمبصرتين لكي تتبعان الروح .. و لأنه قد ماتت الخلايا العصبية التي تستقبل الصورة وترسلها إلى المخ
البصر العادي لدى الإنسان لا يرى الملائكة والجن ( وهو نفس البصر الحديد لكن مغطى عليه بالغطاء) ...وعندما يزاح هذا الغطاء عند الموت سيرى الميت كل شيء ...حتى أنه يرى روح وهي تطلع... وأحيانا يزاح هذاالغطاء قبل أموت بدقائق أو ساعات ...لذلك نسمع من البعض اللذين هم على فراش الموت أنهم يرون الملائكةأو أنهم يرون الجنة إن كانوا صالحين ..!!!!!
قال تعالى : (ما زاغ البصر وما طغى) الايهوالمقصود هنا بالبصر هو البصرالخارق ... الذي استطاع به الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم رؤية الملائكة وعجائبالأمور في( الإسراء والمعراج) ...إذا الإنسان يحتوى على جسد وروح وبصر مغطى عليه ...وعندما يموت يتبقى لديه روح وبصر حديد يتبع الروح ...والرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم بشر ...يملك جسد وروح وبصر لكن غير مغطى عليه ( بصره حديد فيالدنيا ) ..
والرسول صلى عليه وسلمإن كان أسري به بالروح فقط كما يقول البعض ...فمعنى هذا انه لم يرى شيء ...لان الروح لا ترى... و هذا إثبات انه صلى الله عليه وسلم لم يسرى به بالروح فقط ...ولكن اسرى به بالروح والجسد والبصر المكشوف عنه الغطاء (بصر حديد) استطاع به أن يرى الملائكة ...واستمرت قوه أبصاره كذلك وهو في الأرض ... وكان كذلك قبلها ...المعروف أن البصرالعادي الذي نرى من خلاله ...هو الذي يتكون من العينين* وعصبين بصريين* وامتدادات إلى خلف المخوهناك بصر يتبع الروح مفصول عنها وهو البصر الحديد ...( لا ندرى مما يتكون لأنه إلى الآن غير مرئي )... وعند الموت وأحيانا قبله ينتهي عمل البصر العادي الذي نرى من خلالهينتهي تماما ...وعند موت البصر العادي ينشط البصر الحديد المكشوف عنه الغطاءوأول ما يقوم به هذا البصرالحديد هو تتبع الروح ...قال تعالى: ( فكشفنا عنك غطائك فبصرك اليوم حديد ) الايهلاحظوا أن البصر الحديد ينشط بعد موت صاحبة ...أي أن البصر الحديد موجود لدى كل شخص منا منذ أن يولد... لكنه يعتبر نائم ولا يستيقظ إلى عند خروجالروح إلى بارئها ...والسؤال هنا ...هل يستيقظ البصر الحديد ونحن أحياء ؟؟؟الجواب :أن البصر الحديد يستيقظ "ينشط" ألاف المرات خلال حياتنا ...بل كلنا قد رأينا من خلال هذا البصر تقريبا كل ليلة ... رأينا الكثير من الأشياء من خلال هذا البصر ...وكلما زاد صلاح المرء وورعه وزهده في الدنيا ...زادت في المقابل قوة إبصاره من خلال البصر الحديد ...وعليه نستطيع أن نقول أن أقوى بصر حديد لإنسان بعد الأنبياء هو أبو بكر الصديق رضي الله عنه ...فهل عرفتم متى يستيقظ "ينشط" هذا البصر الحديد ؟إنه يستيقظ عندما ننام !!!أنا لا أتحدث هنا عن الأحلام بل عما نراه ونحن نحلم ...ولأبسط المسألة ...أقول ...إن كنت رأيت في أحلامك الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم أو أحد الأنبياء عليهم الصلاة والسلام او الصحابة ...أو رأيت ملائكة ...أو شياطين ... أو رأيت الجنة أو النار أو يوم القيامة ... أو رأيت شخص تعرفه .. توفي منذ زمن .. أو أو أو أو ...فعندها تكون قد استخدمت بصرك الحديد ...
لا حظوا قول ذلك الصحابي للرسول أنه في منامه رأى أن رأسه يتدحرج أمامه وهو ينظر إليه ...لوركزنا فيما سبق سنجد أن البصر العادي يستيقظ "ينشط" عندما نكون أحياء ويموت "ينتهي" عندما نموت ..!! أما البصر الحديد ينام عندما نكون مستيقظين ويستيقظ عندما ننام ...كما أنه يستيقظ اليقظة الأخيرة منذ تطلع الروح أو قبلها بفترة بسيطةوهي اليقظة التي لا يغفو بعدها أبدا ... اللهم اجعل أبصارنا تنعم برؤيتك وجهك الكريم ... ( آمين )
قال تعالى: ( وما كان لبشر أن يكلمه الله إلا وحي أومن وراء حجاب ) أي إن الله سبحانه وتعالى لم يكلم أحد من الأنبياء إذا استثنينا موسى عليه السلام ...إلا بطريقتين :أما عن طريق جبريل عليه السلام ...أو من وراء حجاب ...فما هو هذا الحجاب ؟؟إنه البصر الحديد الذي ينشط عند النوم ...ومن هنا نعلم سبب قول الرسول أن رؤيا الأنبياء حق ...فبصرهم الحديد الذي زادت حدته جدا باعتبارهم أنبياء وصفوة الخلق ..حتىرأوا الله سبحانه وتعالى - حتى إن لم يروه جهارا- فيكفي أنهم رأوه وكلمهم لنعلم مدىقوة بصرهم الحديد ... وهذا يعيدنا للقاعدة المذكورة في الأعلى وهي ...أنه كلما زاد صلاح المرء وورعه وزهده في الدنيا ...زادت في المقابل قوة إبصاره من خلال البصر الحديد ...
نعود للمعجزة التي كانت في بصر الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم ... فالرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم لم يكن يرى ببصر مثل أبصارنا ...بل إنه حتى قبل النبوة كان يرى ببصره الحديد ...والدليل هو رؤيته لجبريل عليهماالسلام أول مرة في غار حراء ...
والأمر الذي لا أعتقد أن البشر مهما وصولوا في العلم قادرون على تفسيره...هو قوله صلى الله عليه وسلم :( أقيمواصفوفكم وتراصوا فأني أراكم من وراء ظهري ) وفى حديث آخر :( أنى لأراكم من وراءى كما أراكم ) فمن يستطيع تفسير هذا الأمر ؟؟
أقرب تفسير لهذاالأمر هو ...أن بصر الرسول الحديد كان يقع في قلبه ...والدليل قول أنس أن الرسول كانت تنام عيناه ولا ينام قلبه ... وربما تكون هذه ميزه للرسول وإكراماله من رب العالمين ...بأن يجعل نبيه يقظا متنبها في نومه وفي استيقاظه ...
اللهم صلى وسلم على نبينا محمد واله أجمعين .. ..وأخر دعوانا أن الحمد لله رب العالمين

The View

2006-03-14T00:14:00.000+02:00

If I could have 360 angle in my view!

Mr.Amr Khaled and the Copenhagen Conference

2006-03-13T21:43:00.000+02:00

I admire his speeches, analysis and his desire to make difference for a better future.
The initiative which has been done by Mr. Amr Khaled The Islamic Preacher and Copenhagen Conference regarding the Danish Cartoons is remarkable; there is a lack of understanding of the Islamic Civilization in the West which resulted in cultural vagueness, it’s been the target of Islamic Preachers, Scholars and motivators “Du’at Islam” to invite Muslims to Islam forgetting those whom had never heard about the beauty of Islam, it’s the time to take the initiative instead of reacting.
It still two days before we will know the results of this Conference and I’m looking forward to seeing the controversy which has taken place between the 25 Muslims whom reflected the image of Muslims & the 25 Danes whom represented the Danish youths
My eyes are upon you, may allah bless all your steps.

Sense of Aliveness

2006-03-09T12:53:00.000+02:00

Updated

If this is not a place where tears are understood,
Where do I go to cry?
If this is not a place where my spirits can take wing,
Where do I go to fly?
If this is not a place where my questions can be asked,
Where do I go to seek?
If this is not a place where my feelings can be heard,
Where do I go to speak?
If this is not a place where you ‘ll accept me as I am,
Where can I go to be?
If this is not a place where I can try to learn and grow.
Where can I be just me?
~ William J Crocker ~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Long time ago, something happened to my upbeat mood which blew my sense of well-being away, and vaporized my positive energies.
It’s a time of major struggles & great potential
A time for breaking through patterns of behavior that no longer add value & keep me stuck in the ways of the past, taking me into increasingly soulless existence
A feeling of isolation & burnout …
Cease to fulfill and sustain me.
Caught in this negative spiral … a feeling of powerless, inability to make decision, to act, to think or communicate.
I need a new realization for my full potential as a human being.

“If there were dreams to sell,
what would you buy?
Some cost a passing bell;
Some a light sigh,
That shakes from life’s fresh crown
Only a roseleaf down.”
~ T.L.Beddoes ~

If there were dreams to sell what would i buy? What would I love to have?, all kinds of fabulousness, luxuriousness, happiness?
What is the most valued thing in my life, my real valuables that brings meaning and purpose to my life, my material of goods which will allow me to experience that sense of aliveness, enthusiasm, direction, purpose, contentment, inspiration, satisfaction & fulfillment?

Loving relationship,
Successful career,
Money,
Others …

Maybe … inventing answers to questions like these is the best relaxation after a hectic week

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast …”
~ Alexander Pope ~

Tags: Mood, Enthusiasm, Fulfillment, Satisfaction, Sense, Aliveness, Direction, Purpose, Contentment, Relaxation, Hectic, Inspiration, Hope, Dreams, Existence, Energy, Quote, Negative, Positive, Tota, Blog, Mystic, Contemplation , Mystic Contemplation.

Tota

2006-03-03T02:54:00.000+02:00

Lately I became interested to know what is the meaning of the name Tota in other languages, specifically because a blogger once told me that in their language, Tota stands for "parrot", which I didn't find that interesting.
Today I looked up the word “Tota” in the Wikipedia, and here is what I got:

Tota, Bishop of Selsey, was present at a council attended by papal legates in 786.
So, that’s it? looks like the name of an ancient bishop not feminine, anyway I’m sure that it has other meanings.

Tags: Tota, Blog, Mystic, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation.

Being Myself

2006-02-25T05:39:00.000+02:00

The vision of who I’m doesn’t fit with the vision of who I want to be, I’m no longer being myself
Is it the time to find the new me?

I shall be myself again,

I shall be myself again …

Tags: MySelf, Identity, Tota, Blog, Mystic, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation.

The Borderline ...

2006-02-21T03:02:00.000+02:00

You just suddenly call me out of nowhere like that suddenly and not even bothering to care about me in the process!
i understand that we have family ties but, not coz u r a relative of mine that means I already know you very well & we are supposed to talk now, we hardly talk, actually we’ve never talked, you didn’t bother to keep in touch when I tried that many times. why u consider now that you are having a cousin, u can just let it and omit me from your file, coz that what u’ve done long time ago!
It’s not against you … but this is the way i'm feeling it now!

Tags: Relationships, Family, Cousin, Tota, Blog, Mystic, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation.

The Valentine’s memory

2006-02-14T11:49:00.000+02:00

She went there again …

it’s the same day, same time, same place. but with different circumstances, she was dressing in black and he wasn’t there!recalling all this without him, a reversible process reminded her of the movie ' Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind ' everything is the same, but the second person is omitted, not there ... erased, disappeared from the scene!

then she thought …maybe a kind of miracle would happen and he will show up in the perfect moment... she started to believe that between a second or another she may see him coming towards her, taking her hands & telling her that he was wrong when he decided to leave her. he discovered that his life never values without her coz she completes him!
and that he learned to
”Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” ~ Barbara Johnson ~”True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~ Jason Jordan ~ he couldn’t withstand that feeling of being hopeless, that the love of his life may go with the wrong man, so he wants her back, stammering that he still loves her!
but then, even nature itself played against her & refused to help her contemplate the moment any further … It rained heavily in a way as if it insists to wash away every single memory of him.… she remembers when she first met him in the winter of 2005. lt was a marvelously sunny day, very different weather than today, as if the sun only shined for them to lighten their day and overwhelm them by its warmth. “To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. ” ~ David Viscott ~
The bad weather obliged her to hurry back home, in her way back she discovered that she lost her most precious ring!, is it a sign of something, that what we lost we can never get it back?!
“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.” ~ Unknown ~

She doesn’t hate him even though he caused her so much pain. She believes that this is exactly what happened with her.
”Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you.” ~ Vipin Sharma ~
She wanted to end it in the same place where it all started, to end this painful story. Wishing for a divine accident, a different scene, a different end!

Cast ur eyes on the ocean… Cast ur soul to the sea…When the dark night seems endless… please remember me ... (Loreena McKennitt, Dante's Prayer)

Does he worth all that?, Nothing makes any sense to me!

“I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.”
~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~

Tags: Love, Valentine, Memory, Feelings, Soul, Pain, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation, Tota, Blog.

Below the Tip of the Iceberg!

2006-02-12T17:34:00.000+02:00

Do you know how it feels when you start your day with this feeling that you are in your bed under your heavy covers, feeling all warm and cozy, and when you start to open your eyes to begin a new day, suddenly you sense a migraine in the left side of your head?! This is not a good sign, and it means that you will continue the rest of your day with this pain in your head.

Four days ago, I had another type of pain in my head. I lost my sense of direction for a moment and without any prior warning while sitting in my chair or couch, or while lying in my bed. I feel like I’m losing control... a feeling of being unbalanced. I can't determine my direction, whether it’s left or right or where I am sitting... is it the living room, or my own room? It happens just for a second, and then everything goes back to normal again. It's a strange feeling and it lasted for two Consecutive days, but everything seemed okay for me on Friday and I’m no longer feeling this way now.

Yesterday however I woke up with a migraine and the worst thing about this headache is that you are supposed to take pills to heal it. I can’t swallow them and this is another problem. Well this has always been my problem with medicines like this: I need to drink a liter of water to be able to swallow them, otherwise they stick in my throat refusing to go down directly to my stomach!!. I think this is one of the reasons that makes me hate to take medicine.

today I feel much better a little pain but not that strong, hope to wake up tomorrow ISA, with nothing new continuing to give me headaches!!

Tags: Health, Headache, Migraine , Pain, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation, Tota, Blog.

A Spirit Slogan ...

2006-02-08T15:02:00.000+02:00

Updated

It began with a deep perception of the way my life moves forward, noticing those chance events that occur at just the right moment, to suddenly send my life in a new and important direction. Where I started to intuit higher meaning in these mysterious happenings, which I couldn’t understand them, but i knew they were real and with it I started to look for more fulfillments in my life, that won’t put up with anything that seems to bring me down.
I’m sensing again, that there is another side of life that i have yet to discover, some other process operating behind the scenes, a quantum leap, transformation began with unconscious Insight then as a profound sense of restlessness. But afterwards with some glimpses on the alternative kind of experience ... moments in my life felt different somehow, more intense and inspiring.

I thought it’s a new awareness of the spiritual which is expanding, a kind of positive psychological contagion, that crystallized something i perceive in life and suspended my doubts and distractions... to believe that this reality can be my own, my life had been guided by some unexplained force, a feeling of mystery and excitement and, as a result, i felt more alive.

But I didn’t know what this experience is or how to make it last, and when it ended I’m left feeling dissatisfied and restless with a life that seems ordinary again.

How, when, where, it happened? And why I returned back to that same first point?, I was feeling all these changes step by step, I was developing day after day, then suddenly all this started to decay, as if I’m inside a ship & moving away from the land I discovered, this land is disappearing slowly as that force moves my ship away, I need a strong sort of gravity to pull me back to my Island before it’s too late.
what was the secret behind that gravity which pulled me towards this feeling, and when it’s gone the feeling gone?!

Was it a person? Charged me with all kinds of the positive feelings, inspired me till the bone & when that person gone the feeling gone, or maybe a place, a situation, or a certain kind of pain?
why I’m returning back to that old person?, why I’m losing all these nice feelings?. I don’t know how I was creating them & I don’t have a clue to create them again, every time I try, I end up with empty faded visions!

Inspired by “The Celestine Prophecy”

Update

I consider this post one of the most important posts I wrote along my blogging period, coz it is crystallizing turning points and meanings I passed through them in the last year till this moment!
Tags: Spirit, Spiritual, Inspiration, Feeling, Personal, Mystery, Experience, Contemplation, Mystic Contemplation, Tota, Blog.

Raise Your Voice

2006-02-07T17:22:00.000+02:00

The Idea; is for every passer by who come here by chance, you may drop me a line in here, you who would make it work out!

Something Stupid

2006-02-01T00:24:00.000+02:00

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me
Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I can see it in your eyes
That you despise the same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you
For me it's true
And never seemed so right before
I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
To make the meaning come true
But then I think I'll wait until the evening
gets late
And I'm alone with you
The time is right
Your perfume fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love youI love you...

There is a moment about this song that makes it worth while, but it only once!
when you suddenly realize that someone 've really screwed something up and there's absolutely nothing that person can do about it. No amount of regret or sorry will change the fact that it was entirely a fault.

Overwhelmed

2006-01-31T01:34:00.000+02:00

Updated

People can be amazingly nice for the reason that they are just naturally that way. I got to know 30 new person lately, and they were approaching me one by one to get to know who Iam. I think I will enjoy my time with them as the days go by.

update
Days proved that they are entirely amazing, generous and kind … but this nice experience ‘s over since Sat. Feb, 4th I’m happy that I had the opportunity to know them & spend some days with them!

Predominantly … Exclusively!

2006-01-29T02:23:00.000+02:00

No; as I thought that I will start to relax, I asked myself is this the suitable time to have a break and relax, maybe I just need to deal constructively with the disorder that surrounds me, an insightful approach in to the way i might want to live my life.

I still have a list to do yet:
- 3 books I’m dying to read, I was reading some pages during my examination period (this is already one of my tools for relaxation but sometimes it seems as a duty specially that two of them are not hard copy, they are e-books)
- preparing for some courses
- 8 reports to be delivered by 1st of February
- others to read & prepare for my supervisor …
these things no matter how much I feel they are trivia specially the reports section but they r having a higher priority now.
Organizing all this in my head, this may keep me busy till the middle of the next month where I will start my second semester, that’s good, coz I’m that type of persons who cant stay in this life this way & do nothing.
Then I received a phone call from a company asking me to come for a job interview today, I remember that company, I already made an interview with them the last year exactly Nov. 2004, and they had sent me an e-mail asking me to work for them per task, and in case I’ve agreed I have to contact them, at that time I just ignored the mail, I didn’t feel that I do like the company!!!
So, nothing has changed except that I feel I’m now less qualified for this position than when I was last year, the interview was at 12 pm I asked her to postpone it to the following day but she said that this is impossible, it could be any time late but not the following day, ok so I made it at 1:30 pm.

Maybe this is a good chance for me I didn’t expect it and it came in the very exact suitable timing, but I still have that feeling of not being that much happy with it, Do we accept things because at that time we don’t have any other choices? I only have this choice and I have to fight to get it no matter how much I hate it. Two days ago I was thinking about that same subject: what if every time I have no other choice, and it’s always only that one single choice to take it or end up a loser, when is it the time for us to make our own choices by ourselves, and when should we let life lead our way & choose the path for us?
I admit too that life choices have always been the best choices for me

I have to review some things at least to find something to say in that interview and read my CV again, but I don’t feel I want to do it, what am I going to do in this interview then?, I cant figure this out!!

Exam Preview

2006-01-25T22:45:00.000+02:00

I’ve finished my exams, although some things didn’t go the same way I wanted it to be.
Two things I have to remember:

1- T.P.O >>

I think I was asleep when I didn’t notice it except on the last 15 mins, not only me; most of my colleagues didn’t notice it fast so it was something common weird, but don’t worry wasn’t too much of questions it was a complement of the last question which I made up to 98% of it!!.

2- Never trust what your doctor says, maybe he is suffering from some kind of AMNESIA!!!!

it happened to call one of my doctors who teaches me a subject this semester to ask him about some points in this subject and it was upon his request to call him at home since his busy schedule doesn’t allow for me to ask him at his office and some of my Questions had this answer!
“ don’t give this point that much of importance I didn’t involve it in the exam as I didn’t give u a hint about it ”
guess what?!!, it was all in the exam, which I shall call it a nightmare, very long, not a straightforward, and included a lot of things he didn’t say a word about it!.
well this is something we used for it in our exams.
And the conclusion, I’m glad!

Hibernate

2006-01-16T04:00:00.000+02:00

A strange spirit is revolving the Blogosphere these days, there is something different about it, it’s sleepy, stagnant, I cant find that vitality or heat anymore, not as I used for it before. suddenly most of my next door bloggers stopped blogging for a certain reason, that same scenario people get busy with their own life … no time to visit, call or share … and now it's happening electronically!!
others r suffering that feeling of not willing to write, and the coincidence it all occurred simultaneously!
is it a season related ... thoughts scatters before they reach to us?! we ran out of topics, nothing to discharge in here anymore ... for me i feel at this moment that i'm in a struggle to concentrate and i'm still going with this post

Checking my List
Loulou: Celebrated her wedding on the New year Eve, I hope she is enjoying her new life now
Wonderer: now in Egypt posted once or twice, but no news about her now
Kayla: spent the New year in Istanbul, stopped during this period and even after her back, work & study … got stuck in this, but she is returning back now!
Charismatic: she is probably busy with the arrangements to her Engagement
Nightlegend: and with the full time job a 12 hr per day, that now I think he barely can find a time for a new post.
Al-Sharief: he appears to disappear again!

I’m busy with my exams!
who else?

Coffee at 3 am !

2006-01-10T05:32:00.000+02:00

Well, it’s 5 am and I cant go to my bed to rest a little and have some sleep, actually my sleep’s pattern in a mess, I stay up till dawn & sleep till a late hour in the morning, but this cant work for now as my exams next week will be at an early hour!
But no way to go for bed even after an extra 4-5 hours; I made a Cup of Black coffee at 3 am and drank it all!
I’m not a coffee addicted or even used to drink it very often, I don’t know what made me think that I will be happy when I drink it, I’m not sad at all but I felt that I will enjoy sipping that cup!
Today wasn’t such a successful day for me, I 've studied for 3 hours maybe less, I’m that type who study and read fast, if I deicide to finish a whole chapter in one hour I do it and that helps me in critical days, I don’t like to stick up with silly equations & stuff but it goes smooth with me till now, actually if I spent 6 discrete or continuous hours per day studying then this is a great achievement.
How boring it’s now, yea it’s the dawn of Eid but I cant feel it coz I’m concentrating on other stuff taking all my mind, where I cant find an empty track for anything else to do except thinking about that subject in my hand now!
Well I don't get stressed before exams, or give it any care, but I just find my mind oriented to think about the Equations, and materials I’m reading concentrating on that even in front of the TV!, that's normale i guess!

I was browsing aimless & listening to that sound track from the Movie “ Phantom of the opera ” I like it, I even tried to upload it to play it on my blog but it failed!
So, I thought about writing as long as I’m not disposed to study for now.
Well, then I will stay up till the morning and just sleep normally at night, I think that cup of coffee will help me to do that, and hopefully that will adjust my sleep’s pattern again …

To “O”

2005-12-20T21:46:00.000+02:00

Today I saw a phone number on my cellular, I wasn't expecting that call or simply I was supposed to call her since a week, but I don’t know what delayed it, and i wanted to be the one who calls first!
She told me that she got her baby on 11th this month.
she is celebrating on Friday, and she is waiting me with her baby “S”.

Our last call was quite long time ago, we had this chitchat about the date expected to receive her babe, it was 14th, she told me it could probably be delayed, and we had fun that she has to get it exactly the same day of my Birthday!

I will be auntie auntie Tota now…
I recalled our first day in the faculty when we started to know each others. Since that day we didn’t apart, she is the dearest friend to me & although that, I’m not keeping in touch with her, most of times she is the one who calls & thank god she is not mad at me from doing this, she is just such a great friend & I do really miss her …

December’s Sorrows

2005-12-16T20:00:00.000+02:00

Something is slipping inside me these days … a feeling of depression, fear or disappointment ... emptiness.

I don’t feel want to do anything. to write, read or even Study !
i cant share with others around me.
Time passes and yet I cant feel its value
Not coz I finally left my job since December 7th?
That what I already wanted to do from the beginning, not much of spare time, on contrarily I feel there is no enough time to do anything. Although I already do nothing... I wonder where all this time goes?
I know it when I slide into such mood, I don’t like to stick with it long
Sometimes I say to myself .. keep on filling those pages .. a New year is coming.

It seems for me as a life between two worlds hovering between both, on a deeper level; it consumes me up, sometimes I pretend to be happy, it works when u put urself in such mood & sooner it flips to the previous mood just in a glimpse of a second.
I’m trying to go through it not over it, but it doesn’t work with me!

Signed for Dead

2005-12-03T00:08:00.000+02:00

Did you watch that movie “Message in a Bottle”? I just like it, that kind of pure feelings from Kevin towards his dead wife, although it was ironic that he is saying it all after her death … she can’t listen, some people may say that dead people can watch & hear us … but do they have those same feelings we know in life, does it really mater then?
even if she was dead … even if he just remembered to apologize, to tell her how pretty & nice she was! .. he was very sensitive and honest in his feelings & words.
of course the original story written by: Nicholas Sparks is much better than the movie; its script & specially the letters written by Kevin Costner was amazing which altered me to look for the novel but unfortunately I couldn’t find it, I only found two letters posted on the net .

Dear Catherine,
I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in so long. I feel I've been lost. No bearings, no compass. I kept crashing into things, a little crazy I guess. I've never been lost before. You were my true north. I could always steer for home when you were home. Forgive me for being so angry when you left. I still think some mistake's been made and I'm waiting for god to take it back.
But I'm doing better now. The work helps me. Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile of yours that always held me like a lover, rocked me like a child. All I remember from the dream is a feeling of peace. I woke up with that feeling and tried to keep it alive as along as I could.
I'm writing to tell you that I'm on a journey toward that peace. And to tell you I'm sorry about so many things.
I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you so that you never spent one minute being cold or scared or sick. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words to tell you what I was feeling. I'm sorry I never fixed the screen door. I fixed it now. I'm sorry I ever fought with you. I'm sorry I didn't apologize more. I was too proud. I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compliments on everything you wore and every way you fixed your hair.
I'm sorry I didn't hold on to you with so much strength that even god
couldn't pull you away.

All my love,
g

My Dearest Catherine,
I miss you darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always reminds me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often, and I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of me is slipping away.
I am trying, though. At night when I am alone, I call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me. Last night, in my dreams, I saw you on the pier near Wrightsville Beach. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sunlight. I am struck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful, I think as I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk towards you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that others have been watching you as well. “Do you know her?” they ask me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer with the truth, “Better than my own heart.”
I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for, and when you return my embrace, I give myself over to this moment, at peace once again.
I raise my hand and gently touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard and your skin is soft, and I wonder for a moment if you’ll pull back, but of course you don’t. You never have, and it is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life.
I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.
But then, as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us.
I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know that it is impossible.
And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you. But soon, always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry.

Garret

And sometimes it Hurts!

2005-12-01T23:44:00.000+02:00

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

.. = Tom Stoppard = ..

Things to Come

2005-11-28T00:12:00.000+02:00

When I went to bed last night, I had a piece of paper in my hand aiming to write some thoughts in my head, flashed, as only those unformed midnight thoughts.
It was all made up of unexpected burning words; don’t know why I thought about doing this? I don’t feel want to write, I used to type it on my PC, as if my pen has corroded.

I knew even in my half-sleep it was nonsense, meaningless, but that forcing and hammering would clear its shape.
But then when I started writing, not a word of it remains, not even a hint of its direction
Beginning to feel sleepier, I surrendered & turned off the lights, that was shortly after midnight.
I usually have dreamless sleep I wished if I would dream of anything that night.
just as soon as I closed my eyes; thoughts popped up in my head, I knew if I tried to catch them again it will be in vain.
And when I wake up in the morning I will forget all about it.
I usually have that easy sleep, but something was preventing me that day from sleep.
light was coming through my window; I left it half open to see the moon rays falling on the curtain, it made wonderful shapes with that pale grey & silver stripes.
It is very cold, the forlorn wind scarcely breathes, I loved to close my eyes a moment and think of the land outside. a long walk; short pier … the sound of ocean, the rain drops, smelling the night breath full with grass scent … how relaxing and quiet it was.
Now I’m not remembering anything about those thoughts, just great well to go on in such way till I sleep … I only felt the morning light scorching my face I woke up it was around 6 am, closed my window to sleep for another more 2 hours preparing to wake up to go for work.I couldn’t write anything of that which was in my head that night, but it was all fine with me, although I didn’t dream!

The hallucinatory frenzy of departure

2005-11-21T00:11:00.000+02:00

Goodbye Cairo,

The word Goodbye kept resound in my ear, how heavy & touching it was.

being rendered more vulnerable by mortal voices bid, Departure beyond these borders .. Our hearts and souls are always the departing point for all thought, feeling and action.
reaching at the beginning, the embryo, a point that could be called a true present, the beginning of a storm, of a revolution, a point of origin that marks a new departure .... One changes his decor, not his existence

Triforce the creeper!

2005-11-19T22:50:00.000+02:00

Call1

Place: Home, My Mobile
Time: 4:30 PM
Number: Private Number
The voice: Common but couldn’t know it
Duration: 12 sec
Conversation:
Hello three times and some noise in the background, then hag up

Call2 "preceded with a long missed call"

Place: Home, My Mobile
Time: 8:46 PM
Number : Call “No Number”
The voice: I suspected someone
Duration: 37 sec
Conversation:
- Hello how are you doing?
Me - I’m fine, who is talking?
- Hesitant voice, I’m “A” … the same name of that one I suspected his voice
Me - “A” who?
- I’m “A” ? “confused”
Me - who?
- I used to call u from KSA ? conversation with my mind:“ I never had friends who call me from there ”
- aren’t you that girl living in P.S ? ? conversation with my mind: “I’m not living there, why he is hesitant to mention the name of the girl and gives strange symbols not going that direct, I feel something wrong!”
Me - Sorry you called a wrong number
End of the Call!!

Recalling!

2005-11-17T21:01:00.000+02:00

I Went to My Faculty ....
Passed by that place ....
I remembered ....
it’s all coming back to me now !

A Conversation With the manager

2005-11-16T22:08:00.000+02:00

Once I was talking about my intention to quit my Job, and I was going to talk with my manager about it.
I was thinking in which way I could tell it to her, so I’m just leaving, no further reason!, we are having that kind of relation which i can call it intimate, and that was the hardest part about it, “I forgot to say that the Manager is having a share in that company around 0.25 % ”every time I was arranging to talk about it, a certain situation happens and I delay it for the next day
The last funny situation, while I was already going to tell her about that subject, her mobile range, then it was her husband.
During the conversation she told him yea I’m with her, then she told me that he is sending me his greeting, “ bysabba7 3laya ” then she asked me while he is with her on phone, T is asking how is your master, did you start your researches about the point? !!!
I smiled and told her, kinda.
anyway i said as long as I decided then I have to tell her so I told her that I’m afraid that maybe after a period of time I become fully occupied with my master, and in a certain way that it becomes an omission to my work and that is something I don’t like it to happen, beside I would like to give you the opportunity to have other varieties, to work instead of me as in a certain way I wont be dedicated to my work as before!
Then she replied
You mean you want to leave the work completely
I said
Yes, starting from the next month.
She told me
No, I cant accept that, u can find any other way than completely leaving your work, I cant dispense with you
I just kept silent!
Then she said how many days would you like to work, we usually work 6 days a week which is pretty much, only Friday as a day off!
Then she digressed would it be enough to work for 4 days only & take 2 days with Friday off!
Or you prefer to take 3 days??
I just couldn’t believe it, that situation??, what shall I say, no I still want to leave it?
I found it will be somehow fine to have 3 days off & four days work? Doesn’t it?
Yea a whole week off is something I was sure it will bother me later.
So I told her ok, fine with two days
She asked, when would you like to start, now if you like?
I told her let it be starting from December it will be fine!
And so it is?Just going to try it for one month? Who knows?!!

The Unlimited

2005-11-09T23:30:00.000+02:00

Write anything about anything,
aimless words,
the biggest pointless post ever,
go on.
Try it, you may like it!
I just want to say I’m still alive, but a little distracted
disregarding the above point.

P.S
this doesn’t have to do with sadness or depression

Raving ...

2005-11-05T05:14:00.000+02:00

Thoughts have been changed, rules reflected, they are not the same anymore.
Struggling, fighting, a feeling of safety sometimes, a feeling of despair!!
But what I’m sure know, that I’m very tired
Trying to gather my limbs, hopefully I can return back as a human again.
Crushed & burned trying to figure the right way,
People may show me the way, but I have to walk it alone!
Is it the fear inside who is talking ??
Knock and enter … we have to talk,
I’m so tired, I need you to rest me
I can see your shadow
Is it true, or another deception of the eye?!
May I call you a negative shadow?,
you were there, seeing you in the dark, darker than the dark,
in the morning staring as silver then it’s your mirage

Come and talk with me!
You are hovering about me, scattering my thoughts … do you really exist?,
or misgivings have conquered me!.
If you are existing, I want to see you, touch you, to believe your existence
There you are, here now ? I can see you … can you see me?
And how to see me and you never knew about my existence ….
Then I’m here, breathing … breathing that air ….
Are you a human as we are? Breathing that same air, suffering pain … ?
If you were the illusion of my mind’s creation, then why are you here now?
Go … leave, for me you have never existed in that realm ..I won’t try to recall or think again, … who are you?!

Not Safe!

2005-11-04T23:46:00.000+02:00

I don’t like politics or talking about political issues, but these days the most common story on the most of the websites and blogs is; that guy who blogs under a pseudonym or it’s his real name “Abdel Kareem”, he is a 21 year-old Egyptian student of law at the Azhar University, he has been arrested by the Egyptian State Security from his home on October 26, 2005, they say he probably was most detained for his thoughts that are mainly anti-Islam!!
I wont go in much details coz this is not the main point here, details are all over the web, but when I came across that news two questions came in my mind
1- why an Azhar student go to write in such a bad way against Islam?
2- it’s not safe to express your ideas even over web ?

I’m confused, I feel angry ‘cause his ideas distort and pervert the image of Islam, but even if we are against his thoughts, there are many who do the same over the net, are they all arrested by their countries ‘cause of their thoughts that they publish over the web!
Where is the freedom of speech and civil rights ?

They are asking to support him by putting the “Free Abdel Kareem” banner on your blogs and websites.

The Seven

2005-11-03T17:36:00.000+02:00

Tagged by “Nightlegend, Wonderer, Eve and Jane” for Seven this time, people who invent such games, hmmmmm … ok, I may call them creative, starting a nice chain.
Actually I enjoy going behind such chains, 7 leads you to 7 which leads to another 7 and so on

Which lead me to Eve :), for my surprise I found her tagging me, and I’m in her favorite list, I didn’t know that she comes by, I don’t know if I dropped by there before, I have a weak memory, well the best thing about my tagging is getting to know a new blogger in the sight, welcome Eve in here

But for the number seven, It means for me Mystery, a big exclamation mark.
it’s a part of me, part of this life, that universe. any great thing; u find it related with that number
Allah Who created the heavens and the earth in Six Days, and is moreover firmly established on the Throne (of Authority). In the seventh day!
seven skies, seven earths, seven hells, seven heavens, Tawaf (circumambulating) seven rounds around the Ka‘ba. Sa‘y (walking between Safa & Marwa eminences) Seven, we humans consist of seven layers as they say!
even books:
seven Keys to Charisma
change your life in seven days
the seven hats …. An so on
well …I think I will do the tag now!

seven things I plan to do
1- take Italian Courses
2- concentrate more in my MSc. , do brilliant searches to reach for the point of my thesis
3- call my friends, I rarely do!, plan to see “O”, “Y”, “M” & the three "Ps"
4-finish that book in my hand ““For Tibet, With Love” it has been a month and I still in the second chapter “lazy!”
5- learn 3Dmax
6- travel the world starting with Switzerland
7- Exchange my little Cuddled pampered babe PC by a laptop :( TRUE!

Seven Things I can’t do
1- stop dreaming
2- sleep for continuous 24 hrs
3- keep silent when it’s time to speak
4- be negative
5- dealing with two faces people
6- hate
7- write using my right hand, I’m left handed !

Seven things I say most often
1- yakhkhooo 3aleek
2- ya salam
3- shoot me
4- begad .. akeed bithazzar
5- Kollak zoo2 (Mocking )
6- 2slaan, 2sasan, min 2saso .... to7faa
7- ok, 2lly ba3do

Seven people I want to pass this tag to:
1- i
2- won’t
3- pass
4- this
5- again
6- to
7- anyone :)

Eid Day

2005-11-02T18:03:00.000+02:00

May this Eid tomorrow bring all the comforts and all the joy you ‘ve ever wished
Sweet smiles,
Fun-filed times,
Contagious laugher,
Loving wishes,
Happy friends,
Sweet dreams,
Beautiful memories and
Happiness always

Absence, Missing .. Into This life .. a Grown Soul

2005-11-01T22:07:00.000+02:00

I’ve been completely absent from the blogosphere for seven days, for a reason out of my hand, many changes happened .. I can’t describe how much I missed it in here, everything about here, that blue page, the news of all of you dropping by here… digits, words, thoughts, keys over my Keyboard, Screen, feelings, images, imagination, spirit, a whole life, an atmosphere of real intimacy!

We always lose things but the situation becomes harder when we lost it in spite of our will!
And that made me think …
It’s very hard to lose something you used for its existence in your life which became an important part of it, something you used to see everyday, when you first open your eyes in the morning!
Do we lose things intensely ‘cause we were compelled or coerced to lose it?, I mean; if we abandoned it upon a pre-decision we won’t miss it that bad, I reckon the answer would be yes!
In general the lose of precious and valuable things which has a real high meaning in our life, always ‘cause pains to us!
And the question is, what kind of humans you will be when you start to lose these essential meanings, symbols … signs gradually from your life!
It’s strange, as you stand on the top of an awfully high mountain and watching the whole world down turning to be emotionally powerless and vacant,
Nothing is having its true meaning anymore …. You cant touch these lands, and if you decided to fly to look for it again, gravity is no more existing to pull you down to your land!
And I lost a thing in that past days too!
My Little cuddled pampered babe PC was ill !! it had an attack in its heart “ the motherboard ” it wasn’t responding and couldn’t read its brain “ the Hard Disk ”
I’m very attached to my PC, there is a sort of relation connecting us.
I may seem to be mad ‘cause I say “ there is a sort of relation which connects me to that dump machine ” … but it’s true, and I couldn’t feel how much I’m a adoring it except when I lost it in that past days, as If I lost a very dear person to me!
I just bought it three months ago and since then I cant part with it
Now as it back to me I feel I’m alive again!, I think it’s completely fixed & healed the company has replaced the motherboard by other one a different brand too, I feel this one is much better!
The owner & Engineers whom working in that company are very courteous, I like dealing with them, they just called me back to check if I’m satisfied about it now or not, and they didnt accept me to pay an extra pound for them!.
If my bereavement to this PC was on account of going on a trip or an exceed of work pressure, maybe I wouldn’t feel that bad, this could be one of the reasons .. on addition ‘cause I bought it from my own personal account which made it more valuable for me loll !

But, maybe it’s better for me to lose my PC in that time, I have no control on my use for that PC, net surfing absorbs time, even if it was just for 2 hours per night :) so thinking about it as allah decreed, was making me feel ecstatic.
it pulled in the exact timing something I like, to drift me for something much important in that last 10 days of Ramadan and the night of decree.
Thank you allah … ‘cause you care about me that much
alhamdlellah

The Blogger Inside me!

2005-10-22T23:46:00.000+02:00

This is my Result .... Discover yours ....

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.
One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...
And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.
Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Open doors & a Novella (part II)

2005-10-21T21:05:00.000+02:00

Till then I didn’t know anything about that subject till just the last month he showed in the view again! When she started to tell me about her story I was very much affected of it that made me write some of my old posts pretending that I’m her!
Suddenly one day, She found him leaving her a msg on her MSN telling her how is she?, how is life with her?!! …. Everyday insisting that he wants to talk with her,
till she decided to reply him, but as a blane person with no feelings, she wont show him any feelings of hate or welcome just blane answers!

He told her “I’m shocked of your answers I wasn’t expecting you to do that”
( again that brilliant person put the wonders, I don’t have a word that can describe him,
he is back as if those five months that passed on her while she was in her pain didn’t exist!!)
he told her I’m a bird asking for his home I want to come at your door, meet your parents and propose, I’m giving you a time to think but on one condition if I’m still having that same value i had in your heart in the past at then I’m supposed to be back ..
But then he asked her “it’s very important to not tell your family now or give them any clue till I tell you that” coz I want to be ready when I know your decision to be ready for their meeting
( I feel bad feelings I’m not comfortable on my own he is back to play games again! )
Then some days later he asked her, what did she do, did she think about that little subject …
She was confused yet, and asked him a question which is going to be the root of everything to her!

She asked him “ I want you to convince me why I’m supposed to think about that subject as a whole again? What is that new that you can offer to me ? ”

Then he told her “ I think I’m not supposed to reply your question now? When I’m ready to give you the answer I ‘ll ! is that ok with you? ”
She didn’t answer & since then … a month passed, but he doesn’t give her the answer of her question, she told me she feels that she is bleeding of what he did, of his attitude, she cant get his second situation now? She doesn’t know how he thinks or why he did that to her?

I told her the best thing to do is to get him out of her life completely and never allow him to interrupt it again; such types of people can never build a stable life, even if he went through everything as it should to be done.

Are there people like that, leaving situations suspended that way so the other side gets hurt?
Why did he back as he is still doesn’t have an answer for her question? What was he expecting her to do again for him… he is such a selfish.
Will he stay silent that way, I don’t have a clue.

Open doors & a Novella (part I)

2005-10-19T21:46:00.000+02:00

It’s a story of my friend, she is a dear friend to me, she used to tell me the most about her, I was her mirror, advice her & direct her, we didnt talk for a while, she was busy as i was too.
but now I dunno what to tell her, coz I don’t want to break her heart

It all began the last year, she doesn’t remember exactly when, but it’s sure in days like these. The late of November

She was surfing the net, adding her new friends whom she knew through her study in that educational center to her own MSN list, when she added that mail account by mistake
It was just a typo, but it changed many things later

First of all, she found a strange name in her list, telling her Hi .. how r u ?
she replied, and she noticed that she added that account by mistake so she apologized, she didn’t like to go on in that, because she doesn’t like such type of friendships over the net.
But she found him cute, told her it’s ok & if you don’t mind, may we talk?
So she agreed
Day after day they became addicted to talk everyday .. she is living in Egypt & he is working outside in Bahrain
later he told her he is going to move to KSA to work for other big firm
But in his way he will pass by Egypt,

some days later ….
He told her that he feels comfortable by talking with her, he likes her & want to see her, on advance so if they agreed they may engage & he gave her the time to think and promised her that whatever happened he will never hurt her!

She was confused, she was afraid … but then she accepted
She told her mum & she met him that day, it was in the valentine day…. Afterwards she felt he changed, she noticed that … then she found him telling her on a SMS “the most important thing is that u r fine regardless of any other thing and I want you to know that I really care about you whether we will go ahead or stop and I still don’t want to hurt you I’m still confused and still feel there is a big gab that prevent us to understand each others and it’s obvious that it will be hurting if we get more close then stopped I rather to stop it now that hurt you later, I wouldn’t do that if I don’t care! ”

She told me at that time she was shocked, nothing happened for that. where is his words. “I like me when I’m with you” … you r my angel and all that bla bla bla !!!

The night before that day she had a tension conversation with him, he told her I wanna talk with you in an important matter, then he called her & he was stressed & couldn’t talk, they hanged the phone & then … she was very depressed. Then she got that SMS with no excuse
She kept silent. She didn’t do any action towards that although that SMS made her feel worry, she is now afraid of him, that way in one word he can just stop everything … she said it all to her mum ,,, then the rest of her family knew it, her father & brother
So some days later she found him calling her, what is up with you? why you didn’t answer me? I’m killed of being worry about you “” what a psycho? “
She informed him that her family now knows about his subject, she felt that he didn’t like her to tell her family about their subject at the moment?
He told her, why you didn’t inform me before telling them?
She said I just did !!

Then called her later to ask her if he is welcomed to come for their home for a visit ??

She agreed and she was happy for that!She told me that he stayed for 5 hours and a half … what a long visit!

Then after that …. Just talks, MSN, phone … but nothing new !!

Two months later after his visit she became stressed,, what the hell he is doing?
why he talks to her?, what does he wants from her?, why he doesn’t take any steps?,,,, is he that negative personality or he is just afraid?,,, she told me that he told her in one of their conversations,,, “ I don’t want to risk it I want to be 100% sure of taking the step and you don’t help me you are not encouraging me!, i want you to pull me!! ”
she “ and how to help you ? ”
he “ I cant figure till now how my life would be with you later, you don’t show me anything!! ”

(What a brilliant man, is that his point of view of not hurting and selecting his words, what do you expect? To ask you to marry her or what?)

Then she was totally down confused & stressed and she didn’t accept it to her dignity, so she asked him politely in a small letter that “you could take your time to think about it and put your decision to not feel that you are risking any thing, I would do that too and think wisely, but till then we shouldn’t talk to not affect each others decisions!”

So later she found him sending her a letter telling her that he was wishing for a good end ,,, but it’s not applied now & thanks for everything!!

( so? This is the end of it, the end of that little dream that he made her to live in, where are the sweet words, is he such a normal person, just so coward to have a decision in his life & he is playing around and around!)
she was very embarrassed to tell her family how things were over with him!!
What is the reason?? The reason was that she asked him to think!

So she cleaned her list & he told her that he removed her too

That was ended on the first of may ….
To be cont.,

Serenity's Amenities ..

2005-10-14T14:25:00.000+02:00

Acquainted with the Night .. Embraced by The Light

"who does not understand My silence will probably not understand My words "

Klukked.. 5 random about me!

2005-10-13T00:44:00.000+02:00

I have been tagged by Me, Loulou & Wonderer

1- I’m that type of ppl who find it a way difficult to describe themselves, maybe that’s the first random thing I can say about me, once I had that comment from some friends, Tota you are ambiguous & recondite we noticed we know u since couple of years yet we just know few details about you!, I’ve been surprised on return I didn’t mean to do that, but maybe it’s just me, my nature, I’m brief in everything even my talks!

2- I like perfumes that much, I buy lots of them my favorites are “Burberry, Gucci Rush, Pure Poison and Givenchy’s” , I enjoy surfing in that Site, it’s highly fragranced ;) I like movies like “Ice Age”, “Finding Nemo”, “The others”! .. I adore that cartoon character that they used to call it Pooh bear :)

3- I like reading but with certain manner and way to do those readings, just quiet mode an inaudible light music in the background and I go on reading .. once I was reading that book I don’t remember the title but I remember the Cd it was “Body and Soul relaxation” and I ended up to turn off lights even that clock on my wall I just felt its tick is so much noisy for that mode so I took off its butteries & the book … I forgot about it :)

4- I’m somehow stubborn and don’t like routine or repeated things, say it once and go for it … Monotonous stuff just kills me

One last thing to go …
5- I don’t like making Lists :)

I Tag .. Bluelue, Al sharief & Wonderer Too ;)

Now :) I would like to tag u all to tell me 5 impressions u have taken about me through reading that blog!, Difficult? ... let it be one impression!

A Turning Point … A decision of quitting

2005-10-11T17:24:00.000+02:00

Today I started to think seriously about that issue, it was passing across my mind from time to time, but today I wanted to put it in points, and have a final decision about it.

Today I have settled my mind about the matter of quitting my work, I don’t have any other available opportunities for now, others say I have to be sure that I’m having other job in hand before quitting my current one, but I don’t see that this is a must.
The problem is that everything about my work is excellent, my managers, the atmosphere, the feeling that everyone around u loves you & values you that much
But I don’t like the nature of my work, I don’t like what I’m doing, I feel stressed sometimes, without having that much of work, just because that everything I’m supposed to do I don’t like doing it!. I’m not giving enough for my work in the way I want it to be.
No progressing, I feel I’m stepping back every time. I’ve many things in my mind but I can’t achieve anyone of them, I’m disturbed, Scattered!

I have to put my THINGS TO DO list before it’s too late, putting priorities for things I like & see it’s more suiting me.
I’m going to have a master, I need to certify in other fields, I need to have a scholarship abroad, I want to work for a big company …… ext
I cant do that while I’m wasting my time that way in such useless work.

I know it will be a shock if I asked to quit I know they will ask for reasons over & over & it wont be easy for me or them, specially my Lovely Manager; sure I will miss her that much, I don’t know how can I stay at home without work, it’s like air and water for me, but I knowbut I know if I didn’t make that difficult decision now, I will stay as I am: going nowhere & achieving none of my goals.

"So I have to start now... and I hope that I'm right!”

Looking ahead

2005-10-09T23:47:00.000+02:00

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there"
Anonymous quotes

Beautiful Verses I Originally Stop By

2005-10-07T17:05:00.000+02:00

That’s how I was thinking to make use of my blogging during Ramadan .. Discarding those last two posts, that they somehow diverted me outside that mood a little!
we always read Qur’an, pray, fast as well … but in Ramadan it has other taste … everything has a different taste, even your soul feels a mystic spirit …
the raise of prayer voice … waiting for sunset prayer “salat el ma3’rib”
the family gatherings.. we usually hardly gathered on the same meal coz every member in the family is having a different timing table.

That morning I was reading Qur’an and that verse just stopped me, all Qur’an is having beautiful verses, we read it all the time, but in a certain moment some verses affect us highly than usual, because of the moment we read that verse in, being synchronized with a certain event happened with you, then you feel that this verse is just having the solution, you came across it to find peace and tranquility.

AL-E-IMRAN
مَثَلُ مَا يُنفِقُونَ فِي هِذِهِ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا كَمَثَلِ رِيحٍ فِيهَا صِرٌّ أَصَابَتْ حَرْثَ قَوْمٍ ظَلَمُواْ أَنفُسَهُمْ فَأَهْلَكَتْهُ وَمَا ظَلَمَهُمُ اللّهُ وَلَكِنْ أَنفُسَهُمْ يَظْلِمُونَ “117”
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ لاَ تَتَّخِذُواْ بِطَانَةً مِّن دُونِكُمْ لاَ يَأْلُونَكُمْ خَبَالاً وَدُّواْ مَا عَنِتُّمْ قَدْ بَدَتِ الْبَغْضَاء مِنْ أَفْوَاهِهِمْ وَمَا تُخْفِي صُدُورُهُمْ أَكْبَرُ قَدْ بَيَّنَّا لَكُمُ الآيَاتِ إِن كُنتُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ “118”

The likeness of that which they spend in this life of the world is as the likeness of a biting, icy wind which smiteth the harvest of a people who have wronged themselves, and devastateth it. Allah wronged them not, but they do wrong themselves.
O ye who believe! Take not for intimates others than your own folk, who would spare no pains to ruin you; they love to hamper you. Hatred is revealed by (the utterance of) their mouths, but that which their breasts hide is greater. We have made plain for you the revelations if ye will understand.

Verse Translation are Extracted from: Site

What an attitude?

2005-10-07T12:03:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I was surfing, visiting some of blogs that I enjoy reading them, I wasn’t in a good mode coz of that Call, then i remembered that blogger who mentioned something about moving, stop blogging and going to disappear.. I opened the blog to find a new post ... hmmm then that blogger decided to back, that’s really nice .. so I thought about just a little greeting .. “Welcome back and happy Ramadan J ” that’s enough for now .. then I just drifted away from that blog & then returned back to find that my comment is removed!!! That’s really strange. I saw it in there it was in there I already read it … it was really bad, I thought about sending another comment asking for the reason & I did ,,, then I thought it would be better via mail, so I removed my comment form that post but not completely so my name was still appearing in there, then I sent that mail, to return back to find that my comment is completely removed from that post again

How much it hurts really, even if that blogger is just a blogger but it really hurts ? is that such an accepted attitude, can we call it rudeness

I Even didn’t get a reply to my mail?? If I was wrong, but it all happened physically there??
So I decided that that blogger doesn’t even deserve me to leave my comments in that blog, so I removed all my comments from that blog
What do you think, who is wrong? I really can’t get it!

The Call

2005-10-06T16:10:00.000+02:00

Just sitting enjoying the feeling of doing nothing... Thinking about nothing, how nice to feel that you have nothing to be bothered to think about, all that you do is plan how to enjoy the most of your time .. Scheduling my day between reading... lying around ... maybe going out today with friends... beside I need to buy some stuff... hmmmmmmm what about tomorrow? ...........!!!
Then my phone ringed … oh nooooo!!
One phone call from work ruined my day … my vacation... Everything, really I’ve nothing to say!!

Ramadan

2005-10-03T22:36:00.000+02:00

Happy Ramadan to all, it's tomorrow ISA

.. Different Mood different posts ..

Pink Thoughts

2005-10-01T01:07:00.000+02:00

I don’t know why I held my KB and started hitting the keys tending to post a new thing on my blog ….
I don’t have a certain thing in my head to talk about, maybe that inaudible slow latin music by “Jesse Cook” and that quiet mode around me & that light light then my random audio player played that song for "Celine Dione .. I Surrender” it just inspired me to start writing something... Anything, maybe it’s just a way to be able to catch my thoughts and get to know it …
Everything around me is just in contradict, a very happy events synchronized with a so much sad ones, I don’t know whether I’m so happy or I’m very much sad.
Old subject are popping on the surface all of the sudden and it took of my mind & effort to control it, and then all of the sudden disappeared as fast as it happened.

I’m confused, I don’t like me keep going in that bad mode, just leave it behind and go on.
I don’t like problems or complaining... in every one of us a certain amount of weakness, selfish and bad tempers … but I didn’t use it to last for long with me

I need a break, long one or short one ,, whatever time it will take, but I hope it will reflect a much better affect on me later on
Just give it a break ,,, relax ,, think about nothing for now & keep life going in its pink shape.
and no, i won't Surrender

Letter I’ve written … Never meaning to send!

2005-09-29T23:57:00.000+02:00

I’m not sure why I’m writing this to you now? I’m not in that perfect condition to talk about something or write something; yes I can’t get it out of my mind.

I won’t mention about my question to you, yet I want to, it was a way of venting out everything to back in track, I don’t know what I was expecting at that time, a quick confident answer? ,,, maybe a one word answer, just an answer to push me, to put that power inside me again. To erase any remained pain, and cure all wounds
it’s a soul to soul conversation or that what I was expecting at that time, a soul was asking for help & the other strong, affectionate, brave soul help and hold

I don’t know,
I keep saying it seems less important when its written down... It could take all that time for you to think, but it shakes many things I need to prove, it doesn’t need that you put things up to each other to come with the very perfect sentence to say, I say if we said what we feel at the moment we felt it, we may never be able to say it that pretty way again.

Things are struggling inside me, I want to ask, blame, wonder, but u frightened me again, of …. You.
I can’t go on in that letter I feel it’s such a difficult thing to me to do, but i just did!

Life for rent

2005-09-27T23:52:00.000+03:00

I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't lean to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

If my life is for rent...

***** I think we do rent our life for people that they turn out to not deserve it, we have to strat buying before it's too late .... that what i think about everytime i hear that song, a real strong action to format my life & clean my list from those whom r taking much usless space and effort there *****

I'm gonna be Me, no Matter who i'm around

2005-09-26T23:27:00.000+03:00

i’m depressed .. frustrated, my mode is just flip flopping along the week ,, no the month ,,, maybe along that last year Specially ,,, and the reason??
I think I know the reason behind all this. yet, still denying, still holding it in my hand and hurting myself over and over again, recalling …
So many things happened in that last year that made me so much hurt, but in the same time it changed many things inside me, concepts!!
Ppl are really strange .. nothing is perfect I know ,, but to meet many ppl of the same kind in just a very short time is something really bad.

I still cant find a cure for my condition, maybe it’s in my hand but I don’t know how to use it!

Many things I do hate about ppl ,,,, those whom just change their words ,, their situations & their principles for nothing
I feel how much those ppl are weak and don't deserve even the life they have ….

I do really hate those whom are having two faces, those whom like playing with words & never go straight forward,

Those whom cant take a positive action, living in negativity, how can someone just acts negative towards everything related to his life … it steams my anger when I just think about it.

Many things .. I’m just writing down everything that comes across my mind at that moment, way that could help me to discharge that sadness inside me ,,, screaming loudly asking this to stop … maybe dieing for a certain period ,, and getting back to life to find that everything around has changed, but I dunno at that moment which course I’ll take ??
Maybe I’ll choose to never back alive !

Tota's Pooh on Cloud 9

2005-09-25T01:31:00.000+03:00

My Lovely Poooooooooh .. I'm so addicted to that Picture

Past Lives Offer a Glimpse into History

2005-09-22T01:18:00.000+03:00

I’m not going to talk about a historical place or historical event
The idea just came into my mind while surfing the others blogs, and seeing their posts & its comments .
I said what if Internet & Blogging was in the Days of Om Kolthooom … Abd el wahhab ... Fareed ... 3abd el 7alem ?

How will they name their blogs & what will they say ?? will it be all about songs, poets & composers,, what if everything truly happened in their days was at that time recorded in their blogs were we going to consider it a real historical reference?

I Guess Om Kolthoom will call hers …
2a2ollak 2eeh ??

3bd el haleem
balaash 3itaab … bitlomony leeh ??

3abd el wahhab
2nsa el donia wi rayaa7 balak !!

what about politics ,,, Philosophy ….. Science …..
I think I’ll leave their expectations to my visitors

but I can say as far in politics …
Hitler ... Napoleon ... Ghandi ... Mao tse tung ... Margaret tatcher... Charles de gaule ... Che Guevara ... Fidel castro ... Stalline ... Lenine
Enjoy :)

Where now, Where next?

2005-09-20T12:34:00.000+03:00

How it coud be that you hate Something & you are soooo Much frustrated ... Annoyed and cant bear it, But in the Same time want it & like it ??

Is it Very Often To Find a Manager Like This? !!!

2005-09-19T12:34:00.000+03:00

I Like her soo much My Manager ,,, she makes me feel that i'm with my mum not with my manager, of how much she cares about me & get worry on me ... we do sit long times chitchatting about everything not about work only, even about her personal life.
she is kinaa "Medala3any :)", many situations she has done that proved that this is her own nature she isnot doing that as making it up or so.
sometimes her much careness was embarrassing me too
one time i got late at work & she asked me did u eat ?? & the answer was no i didnt
she : go and eat
Me : not Now :) ,, then i found her saying tb sawany ray7a mishwar wi rag3aa ,,, at that time i felt how much i'm embarrassed when i found her getting me my ever two favourite ice cream flavor Vanilla & Caramel in a very big glass & telling me eat ,, u r getting tired lol
at that momnet i wishied if i told her yes i did eat or even i told her i 'll go to get anything to eat.

the point is with a woman like this, if i need to leave my work i will think twice ,, just to not lose her nice company one day ... it's soo difficult

Where are my Photos Gone .. Anyone Can Help ?

2005-09-18T23:18:00.000+03:00

Today i was just viewing my blog then suddenly i saw crosses on all pics i made refresh, reloded the URL again No way ,,, they were there all these Months while not blogging ,, now what happened? :(
they may back soon by them self :)
anyone can advice me of anything to do .. i host my pics on a site a friend told me about it
so if there is other better ways for hostting pics on any other place by any way for my blog ??

another probelm is happening to me these Days on My little cuddle babe PC ,, that any site i close it gives me the sending error msg ?? what shall i do coz it's soo much annoying
sometimes i close a site & consequently all opnened sites r closed too :(
Helppppp

Getting that Point!

2005-09-17T14:05:00.000+03:00

On the occasion of my getting back to blogging I removed some old posts, I found it silly, some of them I found that I wrote it in a period of my depression a bad depression actually I have lived in, and that Allah merci is to send you the unexpected persons in the suitable timing to help you without even knowing what was up with you
I was saying to myself “My Frustration if u didn’t Jump, I’ll Stand Up & throw U from My Little Window & Look up the Sky to watch The Moon & Stars
”
I’m not sure actually if it did jump or not, but at least I can say I’m much better now, than that time.

The interesting that I even didn’t tell my friends about my blog, so ppl could come by to read. I think what make it interesting ( I mean blogging ) is to find fans for your blog encouraging you to keep going, maybe coz the idea that I may reveal the person inside me on my blog, & I’m that kind of persons that like to live in a mystery so none touch or get near ?
I may rethink about that

The Self

2005-09-17T12:34:00.000+03:00

If writing can service our dreams then it’s doing something beautiful
How do I know what I think until I see what I ‘ve said?
At first, you have to let the self through. The self begs to be let in and to be included. I want to rise up beyond myself, up to the place from which I can command this house of fiction, exert my mastery to put it in order set it all in motion. But the self, sensing that I am about to be both drawn on and shelved, immediately becomes demanding.

shelving the self - Sue Roe

Back to Blogging

2005-09-16T11:15:00.000+03:00

i'm back.. started to get out of my shell again, i think i lost my source of inspiration in my way, but i decided to get back to writting, blogging and enjoying the reading too.
i descovered that it was inside, waiting me to get it out ..
althought i feel that i'm stammerring & falterring.. trying hard to gather my thoughts & get words into order, but that because of that pile of dust that i have to remove it before having a clear vision again

but anyway i'm glade that i'm back ..

Dance Of The Clouds

2005-06-01T01:44:00.000+03:00

The Clouds Should Dance , They Have To meet At Night, celebrate On The Stars Light & Moon rays … Dancing & Dancing … While I’m watching their Happiness… Pearls are out of my Eyes, Looking Very Far On That Space, Remembering And saying , is it Really True?!!, Life Is much Quiet NOW !!!

This Post has a complement, BUT it's cloaked .... only one person who Can read it !!

Chased Dreams

2005-05-26T00:25:00.000+03:00

Intruders come … Intruders go
Only few of them .. leave a deep effect on you
Some are good … the others are bad
I only want ,,, to remember the fact
I crossed that road … having hands tied behind my back
Looking for my dream
For the sky .. where I can fly
For the sea .. to dive .. to get the biggest pearl .. to wear
Stowing it in my hand … but it's gone like sand
For the rainbow …. To carve it color by color in my heart
Suddenly ……
I woke up from my dream ….
The sky … the sea … the rainbow …. Nothing is here
Looked around to see … ruin everywhere
All alone …. With my false dreams
None keeps promises … I was blind
Fact was here …. I couldn’t open my eyes …
To see …. To look …. To count
How much I won …. How much I lost
I have one fact …. Life will go on …
And Intruders will pass by .. from time to time
Sometimes I will sense them …. Other times I won’t .

The Conversation Club

2005-05-23T23:49:00.000+03:00

If u asked me what rage your temper tota I’ll say hahaa nothing , well but it could be a person cant get what I’m saying ,, cant keep up with my conversation ,always want to make everyone mistaken and absolve his point of view with strange excuses , someone cant be persuaded of what I’m saying , depending that I’m the person who is to the right side & he is the one to the wrong .

But who decide what is right and what is wrong , Me or perhaps u ,, our traditions , rules , believes and society , can u say that this is the absolute right and this is the absolute wrong , can u give a 100% about your opinion and prove that it’s the absolute right ever ?!!
Imagine you are talking with that person who is agreeing with everything you say

You are so right ….
I agree with everything you say ….
Absolutely right …..

It’s nice as it may sound … but now what ? there isn’t much of discussion not much of a conversation and not much of an exchange of view !!

For the other extreme

Yes ,but …
I totally disagree ….
All what you said was completely wrong …..
You are wrong there ….

This person who makes a point of disagreeing with everything that is said . this highly argumentative person seeks to demonstrate superiority through disagreement !!.
What’s up ? a discussion should be a genuine attempt to explore a subject rather than a battle between competing egos .

I’ve red in a book the term “Logic bubble” and I liked it , I will explain it.
When someone does something you don’t like or with which you don’t agree , it’s easy to label that person as stupid , ignorant or malevolent .
BUT that person maybe acting ‘logically’ within his or her ‘logic bubble’ that bubble is made up of the perceptions , values , needs and experience of that person .
But didn’t you think before calling that person as stupid to make a real effort to see inside that bubble to see where that person is ‘coming from’ , you usually see the logic of that person’s position .
So I agree with the said : “ the more you know , the less you need”

A beautiful mind

2005-05-23T23:47:00.000+03:00

Well : ) ….. i wanna talk about something beautiful in here ;)
Hahahaaaa , yeaa when it comes the word beautiful , the first scene comes across our mind , a beautiful sight , face , shape ,,,, most of us has this view about beauty we always look at the surface and never care about the essence ,, it’s always this case .
did u try instead of watching the nature , to hear it ?! as listening to the sunset . insane right , but I do .

ohhhhhh yea … I can see her , this beautiful woman at a cocktail party she has an elegant clothes and a shiny face .
surprisingly , she seems to be much on her own . people come to her and quickly drift away .
then I looked around and I found that short , balding and mousy man . he is surrounded by people in animated conversation with him

I asked myself , what is going on ? , don’t we all seek beauty ?!!
Actually in my opinion … it’s easy to get a physical beauty , make your body beautiful , like going to gym , make your face beautiful , even with plastic surgery .
BUT … what about your mind ? do you make any effort at all to have a beautiful mind ? everyday I & you wake up in the morning thinking what will we wear for today , is my face that pretty this morning , or it looks as If I need to sleep for the rest of the week ! , but we never wake up and think what will I do for my mind today ?!!
Great beauty with a boring mind is boring , you can get attention but you will never keep that attention .
I believe that we are all born with a certain shape of face and body .
There is only a certain amount we can do to make them more beautiful , but there is very much more that we can do to make our mind more beautiful .
As we get older ; physical beauty tends to fade , but beauty of mind is independent of age and can actually increase with wisdom and experience .
Just as people can look at your physical beauty they can listen to the beauty of your mind ….

That’s true , I remember that man in that TV show yesterday , when they were asking him about his bride in their wedding ceremony .
I realty appreciated what he said … it touched me , it made me see his bride very very beautiful although I wasn’t seeing her so , in the couple minutes before his said , with her long nose , small eyes and long face with tip chin .
He said a man could spend all his life looking for a woman like her , and it’s rarely to find and may not , but I was lucky to find her only after 30 years of my age … lucky me !
I’m sure at this moment he was describing her beautiful mind and Serenity's Amenities soul , he had a couple her beauty never fade with time , they will age with each others , and everyday they will look to see that they are more beautiful than yesterday !

White Bird

2005-05-21T20:42:00.000+03:00

White bird .. in a golden cage .. on a winter’s day
In the rain .. white bird .. in a golden cage
All alone .. the leaves blow .. across a long black road ..
To its darkened sky .. in its rage .. but the white bird
Just sits in her cage .. all alone ..
White bird must fly .. or she will die .. white bird
Dreams of aspen trees .. with their dying leaves
Turning gold .. but the white bird .. just sits in her cage
Growing old .. white bird must fly .. or she will die
The sunset comes .. the sunset goes ..
The clouds roll by but the earth turns slow ..
And a young bird’s eyes do always glow ..
She must fly .. white bird .. dreams of aspen trees
With their dying leaves .. turning gold .. but the white bird ..
Just sits in her cage .. growing old .. white bird must fly
Or she will die … white bird must fly …

My Word

2005-05-20T18:20:00.000+03:00

When you put your thoughts on paper, you allow others to know you and judge you - you reveal the inner person. You open your book for everyone to read and dive inside you, to know what kind of person you are .. your way of thinking .. feelings .. your beliefs and rules in this life.
You may, without noticing, reveal a point of weakness or a point of strength.
As you open the door & allow people to come in and watch your show, it’s your own decision to remove the shades & to be prepared to know others’ opinions.

So ….. you are no longer living your life in a bubble!

Seeds Of Wisdom

2005-05-19T01:32:00.000+03:00

Claim Victory

If you ever find yourself defending a position,

explaining why, or justifying anything, it means

you have been defeated. It means you have not

been able to accept the others point of view

, or the fact that you may be wrong.

Fear has conquered your mind and your heart.

Your defences are up and you are running scared

It's not that the other person has conquered you

,it's the self-created fear that is in

control.

Until you can accept the other (you don't have

to agree) and you are not threatened by the other,

your victories will be delayed.

It's a funny old world when true winning is

Accepting not resisting, when victory is found

in the wisdom to stop fighting and to begin

engaging.

Extracted From The Internet